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Thanks for all the input. To answer some questions.... he has been divorced for 3yrs and has made it very clear to his little girl that he will not be getting back together with her mom. She is even the one that said her mom is probably going to marry the guy she is with (with him a week after her seperation). The other night at dinner my guy was asking what he she call my parents and she leaned over and said mother and father in law, haha. So...she isn't clueless at all! He still sits with me and doesn't ignore me by all means when she is around, he just feels like it's too early for her to see us kiss, etc.. I've stolen a few when she was out of the room and he's always scared she'll walk in on us. I don't think she is jealous, but maybe more curious. I think if she sees us together that way she will just talk about it a lot. He shares custody of her with his ex, but I think her friends all are at her moms house so when she is with her dad it is all about them. He sent me a text today saying he didn't spend much time with me when she is around b/c he needs to consider her feelings, and I just want to say hey, what about mine...we are starting this relationship and I need to feel like I'm wanted I guess. She has grown up around all of his friends so it's not a problem for her to share time with them....so why should it be to share time with me? I think he coddles her way too much and has a hard time saying no to her....but I don't want to tell him that b/c I'm figuring that would be a big NONO! The whole bike issue yesterday wasn't him passing her off on me. He is excited about his new bike and she even got to ride a little with his friends and she is just as excited about his bike. I don't know where I'm going with all this now, but that is some backstory to it all I guess. She has told me her daddy likes me and thinks I'm pretty, etc... so it's not a question of her or I liking each other. I'm don't think I'm jealous of her b/c I know it is a different type of relationship and I actually love watching him with her sometimes b/c I can see how much he loves her and what a good dad he is and will be. I just hate that I can't express my feelings much when she is around and I hate that I can't kiss him goodnight. Funny....even all his friends hugged me goodbye when we parted for the evening before going to his house....but he didn't later. Anyway....... I guess it's hard to want someone so bad and need a little comfort before going home, but have to walk out the door without it and then ponder over it on a rainy Sunday!
It's a natural fatherly instinct to want to protect her feelings, as I'm sure you know, but from everything you've said it's starting to look to me like he's protecting her feelings at the expense of yours, which isnt on in my book.

I think you should put this to him in a non-argumentitive way and also ask him to give you a solid dependable timeframe for when he intends to make your relationship with him clear to her; at least then you'll be able to see an end to all this! I think if she has accepted that her mother is on the verge of getting married to someone else it sounds like she'd be ready to accept a new relationship for her father!!! I think you should point that out to him - I know I would!

There's no point keeping your mouth shut and letting resentments creep in, as I said, that'll do none of you any good and it'll be big-time damaging for your relationship also. If you spend ten hours with the two of them he should be able to tell her to go to bed so you have ten minutes for a cuddle and a hug, I mean really! It's not like he split with her mother a few weeks or months ago. It sounds to me like this little girl has moved on - it's about time her daddy caught up with her!





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