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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


It's only been two months but it seems like my boyfriend and I should be enjoying this time getting to know one another. The fact that we are already fighting is causing me some alarm. I am too nice and extend myself beyond my means to make someone feel comfortable in my home and now he's practically living with me. However, since he goes back to his parents to grab more clothes, do laundry and does not have a set of keys it's not official so he's not paying rent. Also he's not buying groceries, he's on unemployment right now BUT that doesn't mean that I should have an extra burden financially because I have a new boyfriend.

Does it make me a horrible person to finally see the pattern that I allow people to take more than I have to give? I want to stop this right now. I can't go further into debt for anyone else again.

I just don't understand how someone could be so comfortable taking from a female and not offering when I work, cook, shop for food etc... At first we were going dutch for entertainment and eating out but it seems latley he's too comfortable with letting me pay for both. In the past I wouldn't have noticed this and I would have been a happy homemaker, but I think now it's starting to wear on me because it doesn't seem like I've yet dated a decent man that wanted to help out rather than make things harder for me.

He hates staying with his parents so he just hangs out at my place even when I am at work. I don't think this one is going to last. I shouldn't have to get a second job before he gets a first one. And if he's going to stay he should help pay and especially pay to feed himself. Right now I can't afford to feed a man that wants ribs, steak and chicken all the time and eats in large amounts. It's cheap to feed myself.

What do you think I should do? I told him that I couldn't afford it last night and he said he understands. But do I break up with him knowing that it's so easy for him to take advantage of my weakness. It bothers me that he has no thought to let me pay for everything.

Also we've had problems with him speaking to me poorly because he was angry with himself about not staying hard in the bedroom. He told me to get the f away from him and to leave him alone in my own home. If he wanted me to leave him alone wouldn't that be easier if HE left since I live there. He has apologized up and down for this, but I just don't feel that he's appreciating me as a person.

Any advice?





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