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To all the guys out there (and girls, too)--

A little advice needed. I'm a 25-year-old guy, and have been dating a girl for a year now. To cut to the chase, I want to know how other guys out there would react to another guy trying blatanly to steal their girlfriends. My girlfriend works with a guy who has liked her for the last year (during this whole time she's been with me). Over the past few weeks or so, he's been making his move. He's extremely bold, and my girlfriend tells me everything that he says to her. These amount to things like "You are absolutely beautiful," and "I want you to be with me." He's done other things that seem unbelievable to me, knowing as he does that she has been with me for a year. He asks her out on dates, and, most ridiculously, has tried to hold her hand at work.

She thinks he's a nice enough guy, and admits that she is charmed a bit when someone is that passionate towards her. But she isn't attracted to him, and would never go for him--and it's true, he's not her type. Besides, she loves me.

Now, in my opinion, any guy who is trying to hold the hand of another guy's girlfriend at work, etc., is asking for trouble. He makes me extremely angry because his actions are pretty disrespectful toward me. I'm pretty sure most guys would not tolerate another guy acting like this. Does he actually expect that the boyfriend will stand for it? Nevertheless, I'm not about to do anything dramatic (fighting, etc.), considering he works in the same building as my girlfriend, and I am not a fighter anyway. But what planet is this guy living on?

Any advice from guys (or girls), on how to bring my anger level down? The attempts to hold her hand (he did this when a group of them were out at a movie, not to mention at their workplace) are what really get to me.

Thanks.
Yes, it's up to her to tell him where to go. I can relate to your situation, I had a similar one myself with my own partner months ago; the whole thing really pissed me off.

Some young woman who was walking through the shopping centre where my boyfriend works as a security guard put her eye on him and apparently decided she liked what she saw. She had been in the centre shopping or whatever, but she also happened to know one of the other security guards my boyfriend works with, so I guess she decided that's how she'd make her move. She got my boyfriends number from this man he works with and that's when the calls started..

Cutting a long story short, she started sending him messages introducing herself as a friend of ____ and wanting to go out for a few drinks with the work crew and all this, trying to get her foot in the door that way. The contact quickly morphed into all these sexualised calls and texts saying she wanted to meet up and do this that and the other and when he declined and told her he had a girlfriend her response was - "****** your girlfriend"!!! That was the bit that bothered me most. If she had been a bit mortified to hear he had a girlfriend and backed off I wouldnt have felt nearly so angry towards her, as, after all, he's a VERY sexy man and you cant blame a girl for trying! But her response when she heard of my existence made me want to tear her hair out BY – THE – ROOTS (and take the scalp with it too, lol) so I FULLY identify with your frustration.

At the point she made that comment he told her never to call again. I really think it's long past time your girlfriend told this man to backoff. It sounds to me like she may be flattered by all the attention, but more so, I'd say she's getting a buzz out of your jealousy. You should remind her that though she may be enjoying your jealousy, you certainly aren’t. She needs to tell him where to go and she needs to stop fanning the flames of your jealousy in order to make herself feel attractive, wanted and loved. It seems to me this is what she's doing here, based on what you've said, and if I'm right I have to say it's pretty selfish behaviour out of her, if you dont mind me saying. As a woman, I know you dont allow a situation like this to continue and keep on reporting back to your boyfriend every time the guy gives you the eyeball unless you're getting a buzz and some big-time validation out of your boyfriends jealous response. If I'm right, the game she's playing here is cruel and unfair. Our two situations are similar, like I said; this mans actions are the physical equivalent of the women who was chasing my mans comment; "****** your girlfriend". He is saying, with his actions - "****** your boyfriend". I know what I'd have done if my man hadnt gotten rid of her pronto. Maybe that girl would even be with him today - because I know I wouldnt.





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