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Hi SeeSaw; you know, if this relationship influenced your choice of username I can really see why! I'm not trying to be cruel here, but it really seems to me she has you on the emotional equivilant of a seesaw or merry-go-round. Sometimes when people treat us badly they do it with such straight-faced ease we can actually come to believe the circumstances their behaviour have created are normal and natural - but your hurt, anger and confusion is your minds way of telling you that this is NOT a normal, natural or acceptable situation.

As I said in my last post on this thread, in reference to my own situation: "At the point she made that comment he told her never to call again". He did that on his own steam, with no prompting from me. That is EXACTLY what your girl should have done here, and she should have done it BEFORE it got to the point where you were hurt, angry and confused. That's what having respect for your relationship is all about. A person who respects their relationship, and the person they are sharing it with, will NEVER allow an outside threat to impose itself. She needs to tell him to NEVER speak to her again. Since she dosent have the respect to see this for herself I'd already be at least seriously considering leaving if I were you (in fact I reckon I'd already be gone) You obviously love her and want this relationship to work, so I think your last hope here is to tell her to tell him, in no uncertain terms, that since he cannot respect her relationship and partner, he is NEVER to speak to her again. If she is unwilling to do this, I think you'll have to face the uncomfortable status of exactly where your relationship comes in her list of priorities. If you are unwilling to do that, you will be presenting yourself as a doormat, and in that case you neednt expect things to get any better, as people who present themselves in that light are inevitably walked on.
Thanks for the response, blanca, and everyone else. It's all still continuing. He continues to text her, and the other night he called her and talked to her on the phone from 11:00 pm to 2:00 am, and she told me he continues to tell her she's beautiful, smart, everything he wants, etc. And now, he's trying to set up a night to go over and watch an archeaology documentary with her. She lives with a roommate in a house and the only DVD player is in her room, and so of course they would be sitting/laying back there in her bedroom, on her bed, with the door closed. This from a guy who's already kissed her on the lips and tried to hold her hand. She said she didn't think it was a good idea for now, as I would feel uncomfortable with this.....Well, yeah, obviously I'd be uncomfortable. I want to say to her, "Why did you have to come and run this by me first before nixing the idea? Were you actually considering doing this?"

But it's getting to the point where I'm becoming just as angry with her--though I still get fits of rage at this guy's lack of respect, too.

I want her to tell this guy to stop trying to get with her, stop calling her late at night, stop texting her, stop everything. And I want her to do it because the guy's being a general inconsiderate jerk and showing no respect for our relationship, and not because I would "find it uncomfortable" if she watched a movie with someone she considers a "friend."
[QUOTE=SeeSaw99;2759593]...the guy's being a general inconsiderate jerk and showing no respect for our relationship[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry, but no, it's your girlfriend who's being an inconsiderate jerk and showing no respect for your relationship.

Look, I'm not ordinarily this blunt, but this guy is not in your relationship. Therefore there is no onus on him to show respect for your relationship; that is your girlfriend’s job, and if it were an actual job she would have been fired long before now; you need to wake up and understand who’s really disrespecting you here, and here’s a clue – it’s not this guy.

I’ll say it again – you need to wake up.





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