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Hey Dandi - more ((cypberhugs)) to you, I know this is a difficult time, but now I need to give you a couple of {{cypershakes}}

I know you love him and want to think the best of him, and the the truth is he may very well be a wonderful, gentlemanly, fantastic, repsectful guy, all the things you said and more, but let's bottom line this - no matter how wonderful a guy he may be, he's still a guy who, at least for right now, would rather be with his ex girlfriend than you.

This guy sounds a lot like my ex boyfriend, actually. I loved him like crazy and thought he was the greatest guy in the world, would never lie to me, never hurt me, and he pulled away, I gave him space but still was around for whenver he wanted to see me in a platonic way, we got back together, then he pulled away again, I waited till he came back again, then he finally left. I was sweet and patient and left him to his business and gave him all the space he needs, now he's married to a woman who screams at him if he talks to another woman.

I personally don't believe you keep a man by being the sweet kind understanding girlfriend who gives him all the space he needs, gives him whatever he wants. I think the only thing that gets you is walked on, and if I had it to over again, I would not be the doormat I was. I don't know him or you so I'm not going to make a judgment as to whether he's disrespecting you or whether you're being walked on, but I do think you're putting his needs and wants way above your own, and you think that you're being kind and understanding, but whether you believ it or not, the honest truth is MEN DON'T RESPECT THAT!! Men admire a little spunk and they respect a woman who will call then on their junk and not let them get away with it. Yes, you called for the break to give him space, but don't forget, he made sure he saw his distance, his rudeness and moodiness so that you would say "sweetie what's wrong" so he could say "I feel trapped" so you could say "ok, let's take a break, I want you to be happy."

I think the best thing you can do now is just do your best to put him out of your mind. what I'm really afraid of for you is you will spend a month wringing your hands, fretting and worrying and planning your strategy, and when you "talk it out" at the end of the break, he'll say "sorry, I'm done" and then you'll have to start from scratch. Or he'll get back with you for a month or two and then he'll say "I'm done" and then you'll really have to start from scratch. I say don't wait for that to happen. Start the mental process of moving on now. Open your mind and heart to other options. Go out with friends, make new friends, date around, see what else is out there. Don't spend this time fretting over what will happen or how to get him back or what the best strategy is. Spend this month enjoying being free, just like he's doing.





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