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Hi,

Just thought I would my two cents in for whatever its worth. Find the "ideal" person is not easy. It took me 49 years of my life to find the right guy for me. I think fate plays a huge role in two people meeting. I had relationships come and go and men I liked a lot but who weren't that much into me. It hurts...boy does it ever cuz then you start wondering about what you're doing wrong and you blame yourself. Maybe I am too fat, not pretty enough, and the self-esteem goes down the toilet. I just decided one day that if I was destined to be alone then I best be happy with who I am and what I have become and love myself cuz I am the one whose company I must endure for the rest of my life. lol I decided to stop trying to reinvent myself for some selfish self centered person who decides I am not good enough for them. I would try getting interested in what they liked...whether it be sports or whatever. Screw that. I hate sports and I was not about to become some sports widow and have to beg affection from some guy who decides to glue himself to the tv. I started going out with my girlfriend and having a great time. We'd go out dancing and have a few drinks and then go to breakfast in the early a.m. at Dennys. One night when we decided to go out (we almost didn't) but we did and that is when I met him. I love music...I love to dance. I feel the music and I love to feel it. Sometimes I would just get up there and dance and close my eyes. He played in the band that was there that particular night and he would sit and talk to us. I never, for the life of me, thought this guy would even be interested in me. He had a nice build, looked to be in his late 40s, nice looking too and here I was 49 years old and feeling fat and although I felt okay looking I doubted he would be interested. I was shy. He wasn't the type to jump either and didn't ask me out but instead gave us each his band card and said if we wanted to know where they played next to write him and he'd send a schedule. I didn't think much of it really that a relationship would even develop...no such thought crossed my mind. We liked their music and that was it. One day out of the blue I wrote him and he gave me his schedule...but then one thing led to another and I took the bull by the horns and asked him if he was single or married. I figured at that point in my life I had nothing to lose. I was sure to be disappointed but to my delight he wrote me back that he was single (his wife passed away over a year ago) and he started telling me about himself and when he knew who he was talking to he told me he watched me all that night dancing and was extremely interested in me. Will wonders ever cease. I was surprised to say the least. Me? He was interested in me? WOW! The clincher was when he asked me to go with him and his grandson to a carousel ride in Hartford and the minute we held hands it was magnetic. He knew he wanted to be with me from that very second our hands touched. Now 8 months later we are still together and madly in love and planning a future. It doesn't include marriage but that is not what is important.

For some people trying the internet dating thing works. E-Harmony or Match or even PerfectMatch. But sometimes the best way to meet someone is to go places where you have an extreme interest. The best relationships start out on a good footing if you have a lot in common. They say opposites attract but it can be a detriment too. You need a common ground to start with so you have stuff to talk about and do things together. For me I can be myself and not have to be someone I am not to impress him. I am who I am and if anyone doesn't like that too bad.

You will find someone who suits you and vice versa. She will find you and when you meet her you will know. Unfortunately it can take a while. Good luck to you.





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