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I am currently in a relationship with woman who constantly lies to me. Sometimes she will even go out of her way to strike up a conversation with me just to tell me a story that never really happened. It's as though she is obsessed by living in a world of untruths. She will lie about trivial things that she could not possibly gain from. She will tell me that I did or said something in the recent past when I know for a fact I did not do or say as she is claiming. It's as though she's either testing my memory or playing some other kind of mind game but I can't figure out the motivation for her acting like this. In fact I have driven myself nearly crazy trying to figure out why she lies to me so continuously. At this point in time I am really tired of trying to figure it all out. I know that the idea of seeking professional help for her is hopeless because the first step to getting help for any addiction is admitting that one has a problem and I'm completely convinced that she will never take this first step.

To put it simply I am torn between accepting and dealing with her frustrating and sometimes painful compulsion (we are in the planning stage of getting married) or not accepting it and walking away. In order for me to even consider sticking our relationship out TWO THINGS ARE ABSOLUTELY PARAMOUNT as I have conveyed to her several times. The two things I am referring to here are simply for her to not cheat or otherwise betray my heart, as I would be nothing short of devastated. I constantly tell myself that I can deal with her lies as long I don't have to deal with her cheating. Yet the sad reality is that lying and cheating are close cousins. These two words are used in the same sentence together repeatedly and how can I possibly expect her to stay true to me when I can rarely get the truth to come out of her mouth?

In spite of the previous mentioned there is some hope in the sense that she so far hasn't lied to me in a malicous sense that I am aware of. Her lies seem to revolve around her insecurities coupled with a bad childhood. Yet I am far from knowing this for sure and I am desperate for any and all outside advice in this situation. Please try to offer any advice you can based on what I have written so far as well as the following facts:
I own the property on which her and I live, it's worth around $100k yet this is basically all that I own which is pretty menial compared to her nearly $400k in liquid cash (she just received a huge settlement) so I cannot see her stealing anything from me in the near future.
My fiance has no social life outside the home, nor do I for that matter and she tells me all the time that she only needs or wants me in her life and I believe she is being truthfull here.
My fiance has a very low self-esteem.
I was told by my fiances' mother that she enjoyed telling stories and making up lies as a child and had never gotten over it.
My fiance is quite easy to get along with and is very loving toward me.
My fiance is quite sensible in most respects.
My fiance has never showed any signs of being vicious, malicious or otherwise tried to hurt me or anyone else.
My fiance seems like she is in constant (although usually mildly) fear of losing me to someone else as she is a lot older than I am, I try to reassure her that what matters to me is her heart, not the age factor between us.
I do believe my fiance when she claims to be fully satisfied in our sex life together, and I hope that one day soon I will (completely) believe her when she says that she doesn't need or want anyone else because her sexual desires are completely fullfilled by me.
I am totally confident in my ability to satisfy her sexual needs and do not believe that she would ever cheat on me out of loneliness, however I cannot say for sure that she would not cheat for other reasons mostly as a result of her own insecurities.
My fiance was in an abusive relationship which lasted for fifteen years and, according to her, she had become somewhat "conditioned" to lie so as not to get smacked around, how much and the true degree of her ex abuse toward her is questionable, although I know some degree of abuse existed.
In spite of the previously mentioned my fiance has made claim after claim that her (conditioned mind to lie or get smacked around) was a habit that she broken immediately after she left her ex for good.

I hope I didn't bore anyone here and I hope I have presented this information in a way that someone can give me advice on where to go from here as it is sometimes difficult for me to make sensible decisions concerning this relationship as love has it's way of interfering. And although It will not be an easy thing to do, I realize that it will be much better to get out sooner than to wait for an inevitable and even more painful "later". Thanks for any and all advice here.





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