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I hope i can make a lifetime of story short! im 35 have 4 kids left home at 15 due to mother being screwed in the head! even my therapist told me she was, she wasnt abusive she just wasnt very loving and had a very warped way of seeing things, we have had issues all my life to this day. here is our latest and once again she has made me wonder if im wrong or once again she is the screwed up one! i have 4 kids 15 14 12 11 and the 15 yr old is her stepgranchild my stepson. thats not really so much the prob but here goes. my 14 yr old, her firstborn bio grandchild is her fav she has made no attempts to hide this and my dd confirmed it tonight that she tells her she is her fav but not to tell anyone! i mean all the kids get the same for bdays and stuff like that but for outings she really favs my dd. so last yr my mom went to england and asked to take my dd i agreed but we had a fight because i told her i didnt think this was fair to the other kids and she said they will have their turn and there was other issues that the stepchild wouldnt be involved cause he had his other family! (my dh ex wives fam. we have custody) and i explained that her fav my dd also has another family as she was with my ex and we have a mixed family....when i told her this made no sense because my dd is in the same circumstances as the other child it didnt matter to her....we got into a huge fight as this escalated into other words and such but my dd went to england last wk my mom emails me letting me know she is going to england again and can my dd go with her again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes 2x in 1 yr and the other kids have never left the country! her arguement was that she owed my dd money for doing some housecleaning and thats how she justified it! i told her that was disgusting and why should she get to go and not one of the others! i suggested my other son the 12 yr old thinking she would make something up so i offered to pay and she agreed so i am happy with that! so i emailed her saying ok u have taken the 14 yr old somewhere and the 12 yr old what about the 11 and 15 yr old? she is a few hrs away her dh is on business and i offered to pay to send those 2 down there as they have never gone anywhere on a plane and she claimed to miss them so sure enough she said she had no room not even an inch and i respected that and said ok next time ur there and in a bigger place i will send them then and she agreed. even the tonight my dd her fav says gramma emailed me and asked if i could fly up to see her next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was appaled and said no my dd said why i have earned money from gramma and thats whats paying for it! i said dont u get it? yes great u have earned money and such but not only did u get to go away last yr and then u are going away in 3 months on a school field trip far away but ur gramma just turned down the other 2 kids for "lack of room" and this would make 3 trips in 1 yr for u i dont think so! i told her it wasnt fair to the other children seeing her going away all the time and my dd used the its my money garbage anyways i told her to tell gramma no and then as usual my mom emailed me it was long and i thought if i read this im going to seeth and jeopardize my sons first trip in may and start a battle all over again so i deleted the email but skimmed it just in case something normal was typed in there lol! i read the last line and it said something like i should put my concern over what i feel is fair in my kids lives on the back burner and stop letting the children lose out all these missed opportunities, basically saying that instead of thinking about all their feelings i should be seeing how many things im letting them miss out on!! now im very glad i didnt read this email because id be so angry right now but im so sick of my dd being treated like she is a God compared to the other kids! fine maybe my mom had no room for the 2 but then why didnt she offer to maybe have one at a time come down? she magically found room for my dd for next week! and then sends me a ranting email about how unfair i am! how does she think the other kids feel?i couldve cared less if my mom took them on vacations btw this all started with my mom me and my dh were happy to take them on one in a few yrs. whats overwhelmingly frustrating to me is that not only does my dd see nothing wrong with this but my mother doesnt either!!! then has the nerve to tell me im holding them back from missed opportunities in life when really its because i dont let my dd go away! if she really meant that then she would see all the missed opportunities the other children are having!! all my life and bf i had asked why my mom was so messed in the head but the guilt i grew up with from her over everything in my life always made me wonder if i was doing something wrong so even though i know im right right now i still somehow dwell wondering if i am!It was really nice when i had nothing to do with her for a few mths but having a relationship with my mom is like having an addiction no matter how mad she makes me we always end up talking again even though my life is so much calmer when we dont.

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