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I"ll try to keep this short. Any advice is appreciated so thanks in advance.

My boyfriend and I have been together for six months now. I understand this is not a very long time in the larger scheme of things, but we both seem to really love each other and care for each other. Even from the get-go, we hit it off very well and our relationship progressed at a somewhat accelerated rate (in my opinion).

About a month ago, our relationship began to face a challenge. I moved about an hour away to attend college, while he stayed back in my home town. We have decided to stay together through all this, and even though I'm now living on campus, I've been coming home to see him every weekend since I left. Though, eventually I know I wont be able to do this, as I get more accostumed to being in this new city and get more of a workload from classes. I hope, then, he will visit me. But it hasn't gotten to that yet...

Anyway.... Here comes my questions and concerns..

It's only been a month into our long distance relationship, and although in reality things aren't all that bad, I miss him terribley and I find myself questioning our relationship often. I wonder, "we are both so young (19 and 20), why are we doing this? what is it ultimately come of this?" I'm a very logical person, and I understand that statistically, relationships our age don't last, especially long distance ones in in college.(although sometime's I'd liek to beleive that we can beat the norm..silly...) I wonder why are both sticking it out.

I"m scared that he's going to give up on me, on our relationship, because after all, he's 20, he's attractive, he's got a life, he should enjoy it! I'm also scared that I'm eventually gonna crack under the pressure. I already notice myself having these "fantasies" where i break up with him. I find myself trying to figure out a "nice" way to do it, when it finally comes to that point.... I feel like if anything, I should be the one to do it, cuz it might hurt less that way. Thoughts like that SCARE me so much. Because I love him, and I definitely dont' want to break up with him. I want to stay with him but everything just seems to get to me when he's not around. I wait for his phone calls and I get angry and sad when he doesn't call when he says he's going to. I'm also begining to see that the little things that used to bug me about him, now that' i'm not physically with him all the time, REALLY bug me now. This is so frustrating. It's like I have too much time to think about "us" and the consequences of us being together. It's funny too, cuz all these feelings, for the most part, seem to go away when I go back to visit him again.

Is this normal?! Am what I am feeling and thinking normal parts of being in an LDR or am I going nuts lol? I know I feel like it sometimes. Also, I keep wanting to confront him, ask him where he ultimatley sees our relationship gong if he is so intent on staying with me while I go to college (4 years of schooling is a long time...). However, I feel as if its premature to be thinking about "where our relationship is heading" when we are both pretty much teenagers and only met seven months ago. Actually, he has briefly mentioned that perhaps in a few years, if we are still together ge would CONSIDER moving here, or closer to where I go to college, but he nor I have said anythign definite about this. I kinda want a definite answer... It's still something I wanna know...

Maybe I should save a conversation like " when will you move to be closer and where are we going" for later? Like after we've been together for at least a year. Gaaah, i don't know, it's just so wierd. I should probably just forget about it, enjoy things and let things be.

Grrrrrr... I'm so frustrated!

Help me. Advice, anything... thanks!
Dear Doublemint, my boyfriend and I have been together for about 4 years now, and yes, we are in an LDR. We met junior year of high school and the friendship we formed grew into what we have now.

For 3 of the years we have been together, he's been about 2000 miles away from me. Him going off to college and I staying in the hometown to attend college nearby. We see each other less than a 1/3 of the year and you know what, sometimes we want to call it quits.

I understand that at times you have doubts, and both he and I do as well. Especially me, I think things like- he has a new life now, he has friends, he's so far away, am I sure this is what we both want, etc. Kind of like you maybe? We are both 20 and so questions and doubts come to mind about futures and presents and all that stuff.

Sometimes I even get angry at him if he doesn't answer the phone. LDRs are not the easiest things to go through. During his first year up there, I had my doubts, so I ended up talking to him and it turned out he did too. Next thing I knew, we broke up... the break up lasted about a month, then we decided to keep trying. We loved each other too much to say goodbye now.

I'm sorry for the long story but I wanted to let you know that LDRs are possible, they just aren't easy. I strongly suggest talking to him. Tell him your fears, your hopes, what you want and don't want out of a relationship. You never know anything until you try. I hope all goes well and my banter was of some help. ~take care

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