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Relationship Health Message Board


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Let me start off by saying im 18. I'm the type of girl who has always been confident and set goals for myself. ANYONE who meets me thinks I'm just a sweet little girl who is nice to everyone, and that is exactly who I am. I dont cause problems and I'm so easy going. My boyfriend is 27. I've always been attracted to men. Never teenage boys. That's just me. So many people say I'm extremely mature for my age so try to get past the age difference.

That's not the problem here. My problem is so typical and growing up, I hated girls who would complain about what I'm about to complain about.... But here I go...

I've been with him for six months now. We can call him "Chris". I met Chris over the summer and ever since, my life has been filled with ups and downs. I'm not even going to talk about the beginning of the relationship because things have gotten worse. I will talk about the way he's treating me right now....

He gets mad if something doesn't go his way. By mad, I mean, he will yell and curse over the smallest things. Tonight, I brought up a subject that he didn't want to talk about.... Something he had put me through in the past that was just bothering me. I just wanted to bring it up and feel better. I needed reassurance that he was sorry. Unfortunatly, he flipped out. He threw his keys and walked in the house leaving me sitting in the car. I followed him inside, and tried to tell him that I was sorry for bringing it up. He yelled at me to shut up. He constantly makes me feel stupid and incompetent. I'm not allowed to have guy friends with out him throwing a fit. In fact, i pretty much can't have ANY friends. And i don't anymore thanks to the fact that I've pushed everyone away to be with him. He talks bad about my friends and family. He has even cursed out my mother. WHY AM I STILL WITH HIM!?!?!?! I'll tell you why...

I'm attatched to him more that I've ever been attatched to anyone. I feel like besides him, I have no one else anymore. I lost my virginity to Chris a week after knowing him. I have had many other guys before him try to get in my pants, but for some reason, he actually succeeded. I'm not attracted to anyone but him. Meaning, I dont even LOOK at other guys. I love lying in his arms and just cuddling and watching tv with him. It s what I live for now a days.... I just feel safe and it just feels like that's where I'm supposed to be.

Things aren't always bad, but his fits are becoming more frequent. He just isn't treating me right and I know it. This relationship isn't healthy, and deep down, i know I need to get out. My mother will hardly speak to me anymore for still staying with him. My family is losing respect for me. My friends have completely given up on trying to spend time with anymore. I'm scared that I'm losing myself... but I'm scared to lose him. what do i do????????

And let me just say that I realize that I sound pathetic... And i never pictured myself to be in this position. But I am, so how do I get out?? I feel like if I ever even TRIED to get out, i would need a restraining order.

:-[
you sound like me way too much. i am 18 also, i have been with my boyfriend for a year, i've always been the type who doesnt take crap from guys and i hated listening to stupid girl complaining about their relationships they should obviously get out of. my boyfriend doesnt treat me that great either, he gets mad at me for the stupidest stuff and we fight alot cus i tell him whats on my mind rather than giving in, i have no friends now because he doesnt trust me and dont even talk to me about who has the trust issue screwed up here. what i am saying is i love him so very much and we are planning on moving in together but i am having second thoughts, i think we need to look at our lives in the long run with these men and see how happy we will be after putting up with the same BS we are putting up with now and then we will see how happy we are in 5 or 10 years!! i am also scared of the unknown of leaving my boyfriend, i will be alone, i dont have as many friends as i used to and i wanted to move to my own place and i think with him is the only way i can do it. the longest i've ever stayed with a guy before him was 3 months so i am so sad and devastated at the thought of us ending, i also dont know how i got into this position and i often think about times in our past were i should have cut it off and maybe my life wouldnt be so confusing. i cant really tell you all of our problems here, but you sound like me alot, i am in your position and i think you know in your heart what is best you just dont wanna face the facts, you know. but would u rather be happy and alone or in a relationship and miserable. we are only 18 there are alot of good guys without tempers





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