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Let me start off by saying im 18. I'm the type of girl who has always been confident and set goals for myself. ANYONE who meets me thinks I'm just a sweet little girl who is nice to everyone, and that is exactly who I am. I dont cause problems and I'm so easy going. My boyfriend is 27. I've always been attracted to men. Never teenage boys. That's just me. So many people say I'm extremely mature for my age so try to get past the age difference.

That's not the problem here. My problem is so typical and growing up, I hated girls who would complain about what I'm about to complain about.... But here I go...

I've been with him for six months now. We can call him "Chris". I met Chris over the summer and ever since, my life has been filled with ups and downs. I'm not even going to talk about the beginning of the relationship because things have gotten worse. I will talk about the way he's treating me right now....

He gets mad if something doesn't go his way. By mad, I mean, he will yell and curse over the smallest things. Tonight, I brought up a subject that he didn't want to talk about.... Something he had put me through in the past that was just bothering me. I just wanted to bring it up and feel better. I needed reassurance that he was sorry. Unfortunatly, he flipped out. He threw his keys and walked in the house leaving me sitting in the car. I followed him inside, and tried to tell him that I was sorry for bringing it up. He yelled at me to shut up. He constantly makes me feel stupid and incompetent. I'm not allowed to have guy friends with out him throwing a fit. In fact, i pretty much can't have ANY friends. And i don't anymore thanks to the fact that I've pushed everyone away to be with him. He talks bad about my friends and family. He has even cursed out my mother. WHY AM I STILL WITH HIM!?!?!?! I'll tell you why...

I'm attatched to him more that I've ever been attatched to anyone. I feel like besides him, I have no one else anymore. I lost my virginity to Chris a week after knowing him. I have had many other guys before him try to get in my pants, but for some reason, he actually succeeded. I'm not attracted to anyone but him. Meaning, I dont even LOOK at other guys. I love lying in his arms and just cuddling and watching tv with him. It s what I live for now a days.... I just feel safe and it just feels like that's where I'm supposed to be.

Things aren't always bad, but his fits are becoming more frequent. He just isn't treating me right and I know it. This relationship isn't healthy, and deep down, i know I need to get out. My mother will hardly speak to me anymore for still staying with him. My family is losing respect for me. My friends have completely given up on trying to spend time with anymore. I'm scared that I'm losing myself... but I'm scared to lose him. what do i do????????

And let me just say that I realize that I sound pathetic... And i never pictured myself to be in this position. But I am, so how do I get out?? I feel like if I ever even TRIED to get out, i would need a restraining order.

:-[
I have been there too. I won't get into my whole lengthy story because it really mirrors the ones already posted. I just want to tell you what everyone else is saying here. End it now while you still can.

I know you say you love this man. I know you think he is so special and he doesn't mean it when he gets angry. I know somewhere in your head you think that you are somehow to blame for his actions. All of us who have been in an abusive relationship have thought something like this. He is not worthy of you. You are a nice girl and you deserve a man who treats you like a princess. You deserve to have your family and friends and not have to justify ANY of it to any man. You deserve to think for yourself. You deserve to do as you please whenever the mood hits you.

You are soooo young. You have your whole life ahead of you. Go to college (if you are not already) and focus on you and your future. Spend time with your friends and your family.

Leaving him will be hard, I won't lie to you. Any break up is tough. But it is the right and safe thing to do. You are the only one who can truly take care of yourself. You can't stick around and hope that one day he will change because he won't. If you focus on yourself and your happiness you will get through it and you will be a much stronger person because of it.





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