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I want to hear NO but please give me your honest opinions…

7.5 years ago I met a guy at work (different departments). One year later , his sister came to work I my department and we quickly became best friends. I always thought he was cute but never thought much of it, he had a gf. We all partied together, I got to know their whole family so well, I spend part of Christmas day with them.

5 years ago, while partYING, we hooked up (March; his inititation). We ended up ‘dating’ for 9 months on and off. It was always on and off, we never even called each other, just kinda got together when we saw each other. He did ask for my number multiple times and I gave it to him, but he never initiated a call. In july I was sick of it and called him, told him I wasn’t asking to be his gf, but I wanted some clarification about our situation. He blew me off. I found out way later that in our off times, he was back together with his gf, and his gf was over when I called, that y he blew me off. Still, it continued on and off until new years at his friends’ party when we made out while the ball was dropping. We left the room, and after about ten minutes while everyone was saying happy ny to each other, he came up to me and hugged me and said, “I didn’t get to see you over ny, happy new years!” that was the last straw….I thought he had maybe been too drunk to remember what we just did and I was pissed.

So, I met a guy at the party and he gave me a quick peck on the lips, nothing more. His sister saw and blew up…she started saying bad stuff about me to people at the party, and when her brother wanted to walk me out later, she said don’t touch her, shes been making out with everyone tonight. Needless to say, I was not impressed. This girl idolizes her brother…I get along really well with my brother too, but if he was treating a friend, let alone a best friend, like her bro was treating me, I would understand where she was coming from. I would have taken my friend aside and asked what was going on. She is not the type to talk about uncomfortable things though and blows up quite easily. Well, she was so angry, that she wouldn’t sleep at her parent’s house that night with me-awkward!

The next morning when she came home, I told her how hurt I was, and she told me that her brother said what he did b/c he did want his ex-gf to find out; she hadn’t been at the party, but those were all her friends too. I was mad at her b/c everyone seemed to want to protect the ex, but I was apparently not worth it.

The brother and I did not sleep together the whole 9 months we “dated”.

It took a LONG time for me and the sister to become close friends again; we have talked about the situation as much as she can handle, which is barely anything, and she will usually only talk about it when she is drunk, which for me isn’t satisfactory, but I wanted her in my life and had to realize that she is who she is. Over the past 4 years, she’s told me she would love it if her bro and I dated (umm…what?) b/c he whole family loves me, I am her best friend, etc. But he called her two years ago at a party and found out I was there. He called another mutual gf in order to talk to me and the sister found out and told that girl to get the phone away from me.

Anyway, needless to say I got sick of the situation fast, we don’t bring him up anymore. He’s now been going out with his gf (on and off) for a good 8 or 9 years I’d say.

Over this past new years, she came to pick me up (I live an hour away in the city) and she was driving his car. I asked what happened to her car, and she said, “oh he moved into an apartment with the gf, and sold his car to me. They’ve been living together for a year, actually two blocks away from you. Did I forget to tell you that?” OKAY stab in the heart.

So….this past Saturday I was taking a nap, I was feeling off all day, but I had to celebrate a friends bday that night. I wake up, and I find a msg on my phone from the brother. I haven’t seen him in three years, and haven’t talked to him in two. He told me he left his gf for good ONE WEEK AGO. He got my number from his sister which I find hard to believe. He msged me all day long, and actually went to bar I was going to, but I didn’t end up going b/c I didn’t feel well. The next day he was checking up on me all day and we were going to go out, but (for him) the superbowl turned into a poker game which by midnight still wasn’t over, and I have to work at 8 in the morning so I cancelled. Besides, at that time of night, it would have been more of a booty call than anything. He said he would call me this week sometime (he moved back to his parent’s house in this transition but said he is moving back to the city in a few weeks).

I don’t want to be a booty call for him. I was so excited to hear from him and after all these years, I still have a crush on him. I know I haven’t painted him in a good light, but he has a really great personality. I haven’t liked anyone much in the past three years, and it not for lack of trying, I always go out and meet people and am very social and date a lot but I just don’t like any of the guys enough to date them regularly.

So am I just a booty call? He left his gf after 9 years and called me one freaking week later…does that mean he had been thinking about me all these years or was I just someone physically close by his friend’s house that he knew he could make out with?…How can I tell if I am just a booty call to him, and how do I make it clear I don’t want to be only that…not saying I would expect a gf/bf relationship, I understand he got out of a rocky relationship just last week. I also have a fear he will go back to his gf (duh, is it 5 years ago?), but should I let that fear get in the way of someone I like so much even after 3 years of not seeing him and dating other people? Is dating guys I don’t really care about a better alternative than not going forward with him b/c of my fears?


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