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What do I do?
Feb 19, 2007
I haven't posted here in a while, but I need some advice...

A little history (quickly) first.

I am divorced mother of a 5 year old daughter. My ex-husband (her father) committed sucide in August 2006. We live with my boyfriend and we have been together for two years.

My marriage was a rough one. My ex was bipolar and then turned to drugs. I was verbally and physically abused and even had a gun put to my head when my daughter was 10 months old. Anyway, sometimes I think I turned to my boyfriend, let's call him "John" too quickly out of my marriage. We met a few months after my divorce and dated for about 6 months before we moved in together. Now that my ex is dead, I seem to be finally coming to terms with all of the things that happen to me. Does that make sense? I never talked about it too much until recently.

In addition, when I met John he was a big guy, but I didn't care. Now over the past two years he has gained even more weight (right now he is at least 100 lbs overweight) and I cannot say that it is attractive. I am not saying he has to be perfect (no one is) but losing 50lbs would be good. I have talked to him about this (gently) and he has stated he wants to lose weight, but said it hasn't "clicked" yet. I am assuming kind of like, he wants to, but isn't ready to do anything about it yet. Also, in Sept he got laid off from his job. After being unemployed for 5 months, he finally started a new job on February 1st, which was a 90 day temp to hire. They told him today that didn't want to keep him after 2 weeks. Mind you, he does not have a college degree but has a good work history. This what bothers me the most. I have a good job and a master's degree and can't understand this.

I know this is kind of rambling a bit. However my point is if I were truly in love with this person would these things matter? I am at a point where I don't know if I should hang in there or know when to call it quits. I worry most about my daughter. She adores him and would be hurt if we left, but I have to be happy too.

Can anyone shed some light for me? Thanks.

Tiffany :angel:





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