It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Ive had a very interesting relationship up until now with a certain guy. I had been dating 2 guys at once, but one of them I had only been out with 3 times or so and decided I wasnt into him, so thats that. THe other guy is the one I have the problem with.

This guy works with me; well, we work in the same place but different jobs (he teacher, I psychologist). We see each other on the subway all the time and thats how we met. In the course of 2 or so months, we have probably spent 5 times a week together, give or take, and although we had our many ups and downs, things were really on the up lately. He has a strange sense of humor and it took me a bit to get used to, so that was a down. We also had a very intense relationship, so we tended to argue or kiss for hours, one of the two.
He had this ex-gf that he would speak of often and I couldnt tell if he was still in love with her or if they just had one of those relationships you cant quite get over. It seemed the latter. But then he invited me to go to SPain and other places with him for the summer, to stay with his friends that live there and run all over the country and others. I was ecstatic- I wanted nothing more than to go. I was a bit hesitant, but we reserved the ticket the other day. I didn't put money down yet but was planning to within the next few days.

Anyway. As of these past few days (2.5 to be exact) he never left my apartment. We have a week off of work, and he came over on Sat. to 'talk' which turned into him telling me that he had spoken to his ex-gf and she wanted to come visit him (they hadnt seen each other in 5 yrs. and I guess their relationship was still sort of up in the air seeing as they spoke often). He basically told her no, that he was seeing someone special and then he said he told her about me. He said he wanted to be with me, and that by telling her, he was sad things were truly over with them but it should show how he feels about me.
Since that talk, my feelings for him heightened majorly. We practically honeymooned in my apt. They had been in the last week or so. We had this incredible connection, we had the best time together, and I never wanted him to leave my apartment.

Well last night things got ruined. We had an amazing night. We were lying in my bed (he stays over often). We were about to go to sleep, and I had to open my big mouth. He had been saying that he had really wanted to get to know me better, so I asked him what types of things he wanted to know.
He said that he wanted to know about my sexual past.
Basically, he is a virgin. He is 32, devout Christian, of another culture, looking for the same type of 'purity'.
I wanted to lie. I knew he was, I could tell, and I wanted to lie. But when it came down to it, I choked. I told him I wasnt (which is the truth). But the truth also is that I look at things like he does. I wish I would have waited, and i didn't, but i regret it. I went through this with my ex-bf too; he was a virgin and I wasnt and it was the same thing.

But as soon as I said that, things changed. He turned away from me, got quiet, and I flipped out. It was a lot to tell him and he didnt take it well. Then he basically said it was over. He wanted to go home, but I (and Im embarassed to say so) got really upset and practically begged him to stay. In the end, he did, and after hours of talking and me crying and him trying to console me, he ended up saying he wanted to be with me and it would have to be something we wouldn't talk about. He said that if it would come up down the line, he would probably have to talk to someone, like a pastor. Then he began kissing me and making out and he held me, and asked me if I was feeling better and I said yes- when I asked him, he said not really and that he just really had to process things.

This morning, he woke up quickly and left very fast. Granted, he has a trip he is going on in a few hours, as do I. But EVERY time he has tried to leave fast like this, in the past Ive pulled him back in and we end up kissing for minutes. Today, he barely looked me in the eye and he kissed me very unpassionately.

I feel like a wreck. The thing is, I know I cant make him want to be with me. ANd I dont even know if I want to be with him down the road- its soon to know that. But I wanted to find out. I feel that with him, this has either ended (?) in the course of a 2 min. conversation, or it hasnt and this will always be something looming over things. I just dont know what to do- do I call him? Do I still assume we're together? He left it that way, but by his body language Im not sure if he meant it.
I just have this lump in my throat and I dont know what to do. I wish I would have lied. Then none of this would have happened.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:01 AM.

© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!