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Relationship Health Message Board

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I know exactly how you feel, I was only in the relationship for 2 years but my boyfriend split up with me on Sunday. I felt the same, didn't talk to my friends anymore, worked the same place as he worked so I could be with him and didn't feel happy unless I WAS with him even though he could be very mentally abusive at times and to be honest, ignored me when I was with him most of the time anyway ... but I still put myself through it because it was better than being alone.

I know its only been a few days and at first I was in hysterics especially because he was the only person left I could talk to and he wouldn't answer my calls! The worst thing was he didn't even seem to care much.

However I went to see one of my oldest friends from school last night, I didn't think she'd be able to help as she's never been in a long term relationship but she told me something that changed my mind. Her dad always seemed like a nice person to me but she's told me in the past her mum and dad split up (but got back together and had another baby), he threw her out once when she was living at home and he had a bad temper. She said the controlling and mental abuse her dad gives her mum wears her down, she's not happy in her marriage but she feels stuck in it but because she has the baby and he earns all the money theres nothing she can do, she just puts up with the abuse. I was actually shaking when she said it because I realised I wasn't unhappy anymore, I was finally free of all that mental abuse. We split up on Sunday and by Tuesday night I could smile again just because I never had to be ignored or shouted at or called names again because I was free.

I know its hard to let go, I can imagine it would be hundreds of times worse for you as you've been together 8 years and you'll feel lonely and like you just need him back but as soon as you realise you don't want to spend the rest of your life being controlled and shouted at then you'll feel much stronger. The future will feel bleak now but one day you'll meet someone who'll treat you like you deserve and you'll think "thank God I didn't stay in that old relationship!".

I found out last night that my ex had told a couple of his friends he was feeling very sad and lonely and that made me smile because I'm glad his missing me. I'm not missing him anymore.

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