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Hi guys,

Let me first say that I have been talking to tons of people about what has happened to me, I have read so many articles, but I am in a complete emotional lock down right now and I am thinking of the worst...

This is a book, ask questions if you would like.. this is a true story...

Now, my relationship with this girl lasted for 11 months, I know its not that long, but it was the most wonderful 11 months of my life... Except towards the end.

I met her on *******, she lives 1 mile away from me and I use to ride the school bus with her in elementary school some 12 years or so ago...

We met, and things were great, we had so much in common, and I treated her great, or so I thought. Her family and friends liked me alot especially since she was in bad relationships in the past.

We had so many good times together, and about 7 months into the relationship things took a sudden turn... She told me that one of her best friends said that he loved her... And I asked her what she wanted to do about it and she said she told him that she was deeply in love with me and was planning on moving in with me and all this jazz... So I thought nothing of it...

Things grew progessively worse, we never fought about anything (except for the fact she didnt like mustard, but it was a cute thing we argued about)

Friends she never had before flocked to her in such a weird way, and all of those friends were that guys friends... So they started constantly text messaging her calling her, asking her to do things, even when I am out to dinner with her, and even at her grandmother's funeral they asked her to go to the movies via text message... I was completely disgusted!

So I tried talking to her about the situation, telling her that I was beginning to get uncomfortable with this all. She assured me they were just her friends and nothing more.

I tried to believe that, but I am older than her, and I have been in those guy's situation before and I knew what they were trying to do... I told her that and she completely shunned me for it...

So the "friends" have introduced problems into our relationship now, and there was no slowing them down...

We ended up breaking up at 10 months... She left me... I was completely ripped apart.. i needed to talk to friends, I left my house in tears and was driving to my friends house whenever I get a call from my mom... I picked it up and it was my girlfriend! So was crying and told me to get back there...

I came back and I grabbed her and I thought I was never going to let her go...

We were ok, the friends thing chilled out for a minute, and then started up again... Keep in mind I think that this one friend was trying to get with her the whole time.

We broke up again, this was at the end of january... I told her she needed to go because of a statement she said that "my friends are more important than you" to me...

So whatever, I did not talk to her for a day, but that night I began messaging her, we started talking emotionally, and I ended up going to her house and we got back together again...

So things were fine and dandy, she said she wanted to be with me and everything else. The friends thing slowed down slightly, but not much, and I asked her about it and she said "nothing has changed because me and you never talked about it"

So whatever, things were getting sketchy... My full assumptions were in place now but I did not want to be the bad guy anymore since I loved this girl with all my heart...

It was a Wednesday night, she came to my house, (I just got a huge pay raise too! so I was happy) and she sat on my bed and she was happy and said she had such a busy day on Friday, and I asked her what for... and she said she was coming to spend all day friday with me, and then go to a party with her friends, I was like cool! I want to go! Then things got really bad, she did not want me to go, and I was getting upset because I didnt understand why...

She spent the night that night and I held her close because I had this terrible feeling.... Whenever we woke and I was going to work, I looked her in the eyes and told her that I loved her and to "please dont leave me" and she hugged me back, we kissed, and I went to work...

After work that day, she called and said I should stop at her house, and I said of course! And I stopped out there, and we broke up again... She said she didnt have time for a relationship anymore...

So whatever, I was just like whatever anymore...

So Friday comes, I dont see her, and by Saturday I feel like complete crap, I call her and say that I want to talk to her again, and that I would stop by her work... She agreed and I stopped by and spilt everything on the table, how much I loved her, everything... she seemed non-receptive... Towards the end of the conversation it seemed like we were going to give this another shot... she then dropped a bomb "There is somebody else" I freak "WHO!" I said the guy who I suspected and it was him... I asked if they had sex and she said "Yes" I completely blew up... so much anger released...

I storm out of there in a fit of rage and go to a friends house where it all sinks in... I begin breaking down...

Sunday comes and im a total emotional wreck... I call her again during the day and apologize for flipping out and everything, and said I just want to sit down and have a 1on1 conversation.. (I wanted to be with this girl still, I really think that shes the one) She hesitates about it, but she agrees to come over for just 30 minutes or so after work...

She comes to my house when she gets off and I spill everything again, she was totally non receptive with it all... she had a brick wall up that I could not get around... She also said she loved this new guy.... We were done at that point, so (this may be uncalled for) I stopped my heart spilling and say I just want to have sex with her (there were different words used) and we then pounce on each other and have the most crazy sex we have ever had... yelling... scratching... obsenities being said... and whatever.. you get the picture...

So she ended up staying for like 4 hours total...

And I was ok at that point... I told her I wish her the best of luck with everything and all that jazz... and she left, and I went to my buddy's house at 4am!

I was fine and happy.. but as soon as I left his house, I broke down again...

I missed work the next day... completely depressed... and I didnt communicate with her until valentine's day (it was 3 days later)... I called her and left her a voicemail saying that I still loved her and she has never left my mind... She calls me back and we talked...

I asked her out to lunch, and after hesitation she agreed...

We went to lunch, I picked her up we were laughing and carrying on and all that... but whenever we were mid-lunch I started breaking apart again.. and we both for sick and couldnt eat... I didnt wanna see her go... but she told me to "sign the damned check and lets go" as I was spilling my heart to her...

So I drop her off, and that new dude is at her house, so I had to hold my composure not to go in and rip his face off, since I have a career, I dont want to lose it because im in jail...

So I finish up work... ( I was on lunch break) and I go to the bar... multiple bars.. and I get completely sloshed... like ugh... And I was driving my car, and I made sure she knew by leaving away messages saying I was getting drunk and going driving...

So I came back from the bars, to work, where my laptop was... and I message her in drunk terms... completely going nuts... she thinks im going to kill myself and calls my friends and tells them that I am going to do something stupid... So whatever, my friend leave from pittsburgh and cruise to my work to escort me back...

I went home and balled my eyes out, kept trying to call her and she would not pick up... my friend ended up throwing the phone into the wall... so eventually I was cooled down, or so I seemed... and he left... So I call her and leave a message... she calls back, she says she isnt with anybody now and wanted me to come over to her house.. and I did with no hesitation!

She spilt her heart out to me saying she loved me and all this jazz and she is done with this guy... and all this other stuff... I asked her if she was completely honest and she said yes... I spent the night there, and left in the morning...

I went to work, called her at noon, everything seemed peachy... I stopped by at 2 just to give her hugs and kisses... everything seemed great...





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