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Second chances....
Feb 25, 2007
Okay, I had posted before and upset with my boyfriend and all. I broke up with him and he came around and told me he doesn't want to lose me and that we do have a future together and to please give him another chance.

The thing is I did give into him and give him another chance but I have noticed that I am pretty much on a maintanence plan here.
My birthday was this month and it pretty much sucked and I feel bad for saying this but he gave me one nice gift and then this piece of crap watch that he bought off e-bay it looks like he dug it up out of the back yard. He told me it was real and I hope that he just got ripped off and didnt epect me to believe that.
Then for valentines day he bought me the exact same gift as he did last year. I know it is supposed to be the thought that counts but it made me feel that he didnt put much thought into it since he didn't get me a card or anything or even say he loved me for that matter. He bought food over and we cooked in, I was very disappointed b/c I cook everynight I wasnted to go out.He always says he is saving money but I know he has money in the bank and he gambles at least once a week.
Am I right to feel insulted here or am I overreacting and being selfish?

Sometimes I find it very hard to say whats on my mind and I always question my feelings and if there valid or not,I am confused with this roller coaster.

And last but not least...this past week he had to go out of town for a week (left Monday got back Friday) I went there Friday when he got home and he says that he is tired and wants to stay in,so we cook again we didn't go anywhere and then I slept on the couch. The next morning his brother and sister in law came (in case I forget to mention the come EVERY weekend) and I ask is this going to be a casino night(I cannot go b/c I have my child and cannot leave for that long plus I really don't like going) and he just said "maybee" like joking but I was pissed. After a week away he comes home and we don't go anywhere then he spends the day with them and they can never just get up and leave on Sunday it is around 3 or 4 in the evening ..to me that is like an entire weekend shot to hell and back! (ALMOST EVERY WEEKEND) I am so sick and tired of it. I feel like I get only his left over time. when he is tired or preparing Sunday night for the week ahead, but no quality time with him ever....I am hurt you know. I have been giving him a cold sholder and have not even spent the night with him anymore,he ask if I am okay and I just said "fine" b/c I dont even know if it is worth my energy to explain to him. I feel like I am competing for his time and I just dont know that it is worth it to me.

I am finally getting my esteem back have lost close to 20 pounds and looking good,just not sure if to keep trying or move on.......any thoughts?





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