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Hi, my names Matt

If you dont really want to read all the story, just please give your opinion on if Long Distance relationships work or not.

This is my first post but i'm in a situation that i just need opinions and advice on, so any help or slap on the face telling me to wake up to the real world would be much appreciated. Please bare with the short novel


I met a girl online around June/July last year whilst using Xbox Live. At the time, Xbox Live had a mini community growing and you do get to know people and have a laugh so one night, msn addresses were ex-changed. Later that same night / early morning when everybody had left, myself and this girl engaged in a conversation warm with eachothers laughter and the whole process of getting to know each other started.

After a few weeks, the spark was as bright as ever and it was growing into a very close friendship - but this was what i was trying to avoid. Febuary 2006 saw the end of a painstaking 20 month relationship which had every gone off ingredient you could find in an unused kitchen mixed together - this ex cheated numerous times, lied, lost me dear friends and almost my education and simply tore me down. I ignored all friends good advice to leave her at the time because i'm an idiot. Cutting it short, i hadnt been properly single for 4 years (11 month relationship before and 2 month relationship after the bad kitchen), and was intent on remaining single as i felt free and more alive than ever.


None the less, the talk of meeting came about with this new female interest and September the 4th was the day i travelled 4 hours and 3 trains from the bottom of Devon to South Wales. We'd both swore to meeting as just friends, so going Cinema was a bad step - i held her hand and she kissed me at the end of the movie. We decided after awile of 'Oh my god!' and 'Wows' and smiles and 'Oooops' that we'd be 'close friends' - mistake number one. Due to my past i find it hard to let people get close to me in terms of a relationship so we didnt give ourselves the title of boyfriend / girlfriend . 6 months and 6 meetings later, we do Almost Everything a couple would do - phonecalls that make the jaw hurt because of so much laughter, pet names, hold hands down the street, 'whatever else' etc. - all mistake number 2, but shes just too awesome!! I'm 100% myself with her, we match in personality and looks and shes a really bright girl who makes me smile :)


So here's the problems:
1. She's in Cardiff, im not
2. I'm in Devon, shes not
3. Her dad thinks all guys are out for one thing and i'd never see her if the parents knew how much we adore eachother - they contributed to her last relationship breaking up - and this is another reason we never gave ourselves the gf/bf title.
4. Her last relationship [U]was also long distance[/U] and lasted about a year (but we liked eachother too much so ignored all these obvious timebombs before now).
5. She said she wants a 'normal' relationship - for instance, be able to say 'I need help with this work' or 'You wanna meet me and the girls tonight?', and wants a reply of 'OK, i'll be there in 5' - after all she hasnt had that in two years and i don't blame her, i understand and respect what she needs and wants. To be honest, i want that aswel.
6. We met last weekend and it was too much this time and lots of feelings were expressed concerning how our relationship is. We're taking a break to clear our heads and try and figure out what to do - do we go official? give ourselves the title of bf/gf and hope the dad (who she fears telling) appoves? Try and see eachother more (i'd sell things to raise money for train tickets etc. if i had to!) --OR-- Is this the way out, a chance to avoid POTENTIAL pain - i ephasize potential as im scared of long distance and don't know what would happen. A chance to avoid 10x more pain as opposed to having to break up in the future? A chance for her to meet someone more local who could get to know her friends and have a proper inplant in her life instead of extremely high phone bills.

I'm genuinely confused. I adore her and could easily fall in love with her and she feels as strongly (i'd say we're already on the way toward that) - At the moment i'd be 50% inclined to stop it all but neither of us want to throw away the chance of being together so theres the other 50% wanting to just hug her, feel and see her and make her happy - theres nothing i want more for her than happiness. If i can give that it's just a bonus.

I just need to know if Long Distance is worth it / [U]if it can actually work[/U] which would have made a much shorter post and also congratulations if you've made it down here. Any help with the other complications would be great.

Thanks for reading

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