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Relationship Health Message Board


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I have been with the same man for 5 years now. We have been talking about marriage and I think he is preparing to buy a ring. I just have one problem, his family. Now they are wonderful people, very caring, open-minded, and non-judgemental. They want to treat me as family, but I have big problems with that (especially them trying to hug me, big no no, I don't hug anyone except my kids and my man). I personally think that two people who are together don't have to interact with the other's family. I have never had any kind of relationship with any mans mom and now that I have spent time with my boyfriends mother, its very uncomfortable for me. I have always been this way, even with my own family. I don't call or visit my family but there are no hard feelings, they know me. I never ask my boyfriend to go with me nor do I get mad if decides he doesn't want to go, I really don't care. My boyfriend not being around my family is actually what I want. I have told him many times, I don't like going to family events and it turns into an arguement.

I want to marry him, we have a great relationship other than the family thing. I am just wondering does anyone else have this problem and what have they done. Now I know someone might say I should compromise, but I feel like there is no compromise. I have been going to almost every family event since we've been together and its taking a toll on me and how I feel about my boyfriend (Does he really respect me?). So its either I go and he's happy or a dont go and he's mad. There is no compromise, I don't want to go at all, not even once a year. I don't want this to be a deal breaker, but if he insists that I go even half the time I can't be in a marriage like that. I don't want to feel like I have to suffer to make him happy. Should I just end this now before it goes any further? I love who I am and it has taken a long time to come to that point. I refuse to compromise who I am just to please someone.





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