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[QUOTE=angel_light;2846891]My problem is that I love him and we have been together 4 years. We have bought a house together and two cars. All of the furniture here is both of ours, everything. He pays most of the mortgage at least most of the time I cannot exactly kick him out. I could leave but it is my house too.[/QUOTE]

These are not major issues. Most people who get divorced have the issue of being together for a long time, owning a home, etc.. What to do? Put the house on the market, split the furniture, and move on. These are not good enough reasons to stay with a man who said those things behind your back like that.

[QUOTE=angel_light;2846891]I tried IM'ing that girl tonight and she ignored me and signed off. I think I need to set her little a** straight. He is not all he seems to be to her. She thinks he is a victim, I have done stupid things, but nothing that has really done any damage that I know of. Mine was just being naive. His is ALL out of spite.[/QUOTE]

Does it really matter what she thinks? She isn't the one who said these things, he is. She was the ears to his complaining and then offered him advice based on what he said. Plus, didn't you say she stuck up for you a little bit? I wouldn't be friends with her anymore either, but she is not to blame for any of what he said or did.

[QUOTE=angel_light2846891]We have almost broken up 3 times. Once before I moved out here, then once two summers back again over something stupid and then again this past summer over something dumb. Well I was not being courteous as I should have been to my bf, so it was my fault. I was working and completely ignored his calls for about 2 hours or so :([/QUOTE]

I think this just shows that your relationship has issues. You are letting your boyfriend blame you for everything. It takes two to make a relationship work. Sure, he may bring in the bulk of the finances, but it's not all about money. He seems like he is only sticking around; 1)because you have a house together, or 2)because he doesn't want to be alone and will stay until he finds someone else. Stop appologizing for yourself and make him take some of the blame here!

[QUOTE=angel_light2846891]So I can only imagine what he told this ex friend of ours. She should not know any of this information. He and I need to talk about things.[/QUOTE]

No she shouldn't know any of this information, but again, that is HIS fault! You do need to talk to him about all of this, and you need to blame him for all of it!

[QUOTE=angel_light2846891]We did have a small talk about a week ago about him being stressed and how I can help. I tell him I do try and help. I try to bring in money for bills, I try to keep the house in order, and take good care of him. He brought up that if I do not do my part then we could not work together, which is true. I do my part, I just forget little things, not on purpose, I just have really bad short-term memory (dr proof).[/QUOTE]

He is the type of man who will always blame someone else for his troubles. Sure, you can always keep the house neater, make more money, rub his feet, etc.., but when does he start owning responsibility for his happiness?

[QUOTE=angel_light2846891]He had mentioned that without me he would be saving so much money, just 4800 a year with my car and insurance. He did say he would not have a house if he was by himself. But I never told him to buy the house. It was ALL his idea. Now he is stressed, but doesn't he ever think that I am too? I freaking stress out to the max to pay the bills. I pulled money from who knows where last week to handle most of the mortgage since his job had not brought in as much. He does the same when I do not make as much money. He somehow figures things out. But what I think is we together need counseling. We need to work out our problems together, not be talking to girls on the side or guys on the side. This is personal and needs to be kept between him and I. I just wish he had done that, because now I feel betrayed. I am hurt, betrayed and depressed.[/QUOTE]

I can't imagine how much money my husband would save a year if he didn't have me or the kids. The difference is my husband doesn't rub it in my face every chance he gets. Relationships are give and take. Your SO is suppose to add happiness, joy, and purpose to your life, not be the source of grief and resentment.

I don't see him working out problems with you. I see him blaming you for it all. The question is are you going to appologize for what he is unhappy with or are you going to stick up for yourself?

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