It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Wow...your situation sounds a lot like mine last year. I'll tell you what I was feeling and it's probably what your Ex is feeling since our situations were similar.
I was with my fiance for 9 years and we lived together for 3. The last 2 years of our relationship I felt really neglected...he would never call me and anytime I called him he made it sound like I was bothering him, he never took me out except to maybe dinner then straight home, we never hung out with any friends, he ignored me at home and paid more attention to his computer, etc. He basically took me for granted. Anyway I broke up with him because I realized I wanted closeness and a best friend out of my partner and he was not providing that for me, plus much more. I just fell out of love overtime. I wanted to be number 1 in his life and I always felt second to his friends, his job, etc. (it's probably the same way your Ex was feeling). Then my Ex said all the same stuff you said after I broke up with him...he realized he wasn't giving me enough attention, gave a heart felt apology, wanted to give us a second try, etc. but for me it was too late. My heart just wasn't in it anymore.

So in my opinion she is done and ready to move on. You've already told her how you truly feel through your actions whether you meant to or not. Actions speak louder than words. Spending time with the woman you love should come naturally, not forced.
I bet she feels awful for being the one to break it off, like I did, and is only leaving the door open to let you down easy and to give you hope. She doesn't want to be the bad person for breaking your heart, which is why she said she doesn't want to quit you cold turkey, but honestly she is ready to move on and wants to find someone who will make her feel number 1 in their life. She just said that to try and spare your feelings.

Look you're a guy and you don't realize what a girl wants. We want attention and someone to make us feel important, wanted , needed and you're not going to get that message across to us by not calling or making an attempt to see each other more often.

Also, she wants to go on this trip to have fun and be single. She's young, has been in a committed relationship for 6 years in which she felt neglected and unappreciated and now she wants to be free and have a taste of the single life. That's the way I felt too. I doubt she cheated on you. My Ex thought that too when I broke up with him, but I did not cheat... I was very tempted because guys were giving me the attention that I craved from him, but I never did. I think she would have told you about it if she did cheat.
And yes you are the backup plan. I said the same thing to my Ex...that we could possibly get back together, maybe I just needed time alone. Now that I look back, I kind of meant it, but I think I was mostly afraid I would regret having broke up with him after all was said and done and found out he moved on and it'd be too late. I feared being alone and never finding someone else as good. I feel bad about that now because it's 6 months later and I have no desire to get back together with him.

So it's a tough pill to swallow. 6 years is a long time. But what's done is done. Even if you get back together and you pay all sorts of attention to her, etc. she's going to think it's fake and you're only doing it because she broke up with you over it. My advice is to not beat yourself up over it, try to move on and let her go, but take it as a good lesson learned about what a woman needs in a relationship....Love, affection and attention! This is a bit corny, but you know Billy Joel's song "Tell her about it" ? It's so true!!





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:07 PM.





© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!