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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Ok, so I just got back from THERAPY. Ugh ack yuk. Don't like her. I had a moment with God last night. The therapist is probably an atheist after all the psychotic stuff she has listened to.

I am finding saving grace, and I know how hard it is. Already 1 day in, and it is hard. I am just going to stop the therapy, get on track, start exercising TRY to quit smoking and pull my **** together.

I am the snotty kid, and I feel like an *******. I have tried to break things off between us, but the woman HARRASSES me constantly. I am 27 years old, I should be a functioning adult. I was fine 4 years ago. Somedays I think I should have never moved to Southern California. It was such a soulless place. I do feel like God has intervened now, and is leading me to a man to walk with me in this life. I know that is what I need. I have found volunteer opportunities to give back to orphaned children with art. I could push myself to the limit in my current career, or just take it slow. Work as I can. My therapist says I experienced a major depressive disorder. I did all of this to myself. I should have hit that ***** back years ago, left and never looked back. BUT I always have to look back, and I am too kind to hit ANYONE. Can you tell I have big, bright blue eyes! haha. I do.

I just want to be a mommy. I want to nurture and be nurtured. I need a sensitive man that can help take care of a crazy/beautiful woman.
I have screamed out to God to save me and he is. What else can I do? I just want a nice simple life, with a guiding hand. No more hatred. No more abuse. No more.

I will go back to see my grandmother in May. I need to make arrangements to have my sister pick me up, and I will stay with her in her house in the country. My body is so tweaked out from all of this. I just slump down. I am so tired. BUT for the first time in a LONG time I am starting to feel happy. I want to draw and paint. Something I love, but never made time for in the past 4 years.

I miss my best old girlfriend from college. We let stupid drama break up our friendship. At least I have a few left, and I can count on them.





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