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Relationship Health Message Board

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Hi I'm new to this board :wave:
I found out I have HPV from my last boyfriend, who I was INLOVE with, but cheated on me and gave it to me. Ever since then, I have been so depressed because I feel like not only did he betray me, I have this stupid virus for the rest of my life. :mad:

Him and I go to different colleges, so physically it's easy to be without him. He still talks to me, and I talk to him, because I haven't told anyone (besides family) about my HPV. This morning I was treated for HPV, it was so painful, and I am still so angry with him. I think I should stop talking to him, but I also feel SO lonely. I don't even want to go out anymore (strange for a college girl!!!) because every guy I meet/am interested in, I immediately dismiss because I'm ashamed of telling him about my history (and obviously I would tell the next partner I have before anything sexual happened).
I am so lonely (not sexually, but emotionally), but I don't know how to overcome my fear of rejection because of this. My self-esteem is so low and I don't feel like I can trust any guys. Gosh this sucks... :blob_fire

And I hate feeling like I rely on my ex (he'll call me and say he's coming to visit, and I know all he wants is sex because he says "we both have it, so why does it matter?" ew, such a jerk) :mad:

I would really appreciate any suggestions, I hate having this fear of a new relationship and self-hatred. Thanks! :)

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