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[COLOR="DarkRed"]OK, all of my childhood, I have always been very close to my dad. My mom and I have never really gotten along very well. Back in October, I found some incriminating emails in my dad's account. Emails to various women. About hooking up. And how much it would cost. And where it would be. And when. For a few months, I just watched them. I would check his email daily, after he did, of course, and save, to my computer, some of the most explanitory emails. In January, my boyfriend found some Viagra my dad has been taking. It was odd for him, but obvious for me. I told him what I, and finally had let my family's secret out to someone.

For a month, we discussed what I should do. By the beginning of February, I emailed my pastor some of the emails and what I knew. He talked to me and calmed me down. Then called and made a meeting with my dad. During the meeting, our pastor confronted Dad with the emails and Dad told him that they were from one of his business partners. He had let him use his email address to meet up with women. My pastor called me and told me all that, and that Dad was to talk to me to explain everything to me.

I waited, and for hours, he didn't. Eventually, I went and talked to Dad, and he told me that someone, one of his "enemies", had hacked into his account and sent, received and replied to all of those emails. When I faced him with other evidence, (emails between my boyfriend and one of the women where she said that she knew Dad, the credit card bills with hotel charges that matched with emails, phone bills that showed calls, texts STILL ON HIS PHONE to and from women) He said I had made everything up to portray him to be an awful person.

Needless to say, that pissed me off. I was so hurt and confused.

The next day, Dad called a "family meeting" where he sat us all down and told us that he had screwed up, and went to websites he shouldn't have gone to and associated with people he shouldn't have associated with. And he hoped that we could all forgive him.

So, basically, after he had denied everything to our pastor, and told me that I was wrong and making things up, he comes out with a partial truth. I learned later from Mom that he told her that he had talked to women, but never actually met them. She believes him. Even though on more than one account, she has found condoms in his briefcase.

Really, whether or not that's true doesn't really matter. He lied to me. To my face. And he really truly hurt me.

Another thing I should add is that I'm adopted. I've struggled a lot (I know, unneccesarily) with rejection. I read once that adoptees are more sensitive to marital conflict in their adoptive family than biological children. Maybe that's true. Maybe it's not. I don't know.

I honestly don't know what to do. There is so much hate and disgust towards my Dad for what he has done. He offered no remorse or explanation to why he lied to me. To quote Rhett Butler, "[I]You're like the thief who isn't the least bit sorry he stole, but is terribly, terribly sorry he's going to jail[/I]"... It's so hard to let go of it, even though I want to forget about it. Honestly, I want to be able to forgive him. But it's so hard... I'm only 18. I don't want to have to live with this for the rest of my life.

Any advice?[/COLOR]





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