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Relationship Health Message Board


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Re: Nice skirt
Mar 28, 2007
[QUOTE=susieq0726;2887054]AJ,
Here's the main issue: YOU made the decision to allow him back into your life AFTER he had dated another woman. You made the choice to start seeing him again. And I am a firm believer in the fact that if you allow someone in your life after they have hurt you, then you can't hold what they did against them. You either forgive and move on, or don't let them back in your life. The same thing happened to me a few years ago. I dated a man for 6 yrs and we were engaged. We broke up and he dated someone else. She dumped him, or dumped her, doesn't matter. The fact remained that he came grovelling back to me and I allowed him back into my life. For three months I was insecure and miserable about what he did, and I drove him crazy with questions about the affair and picked numerous fights with him. I finally realized I couldn't get over it, would never forgive him and made the decision to end the relationship for both of our sakes.
You have to let it go. The whole skirt thing is tied to the fact you are still hurting from what he did in the past.[/QUOTE]

I completly agree! When we first got back together, this girl didnt entermy mind whatsoever. i admit things have got worse because he admitted he wasnt honest about how intimate he was with her and he didnt use protection- to others it may have not beena big deal, but it is to me. Things that didnt bother me before when we got back together, bother me now, big time. Also, its been a year since then, and i keep thinking back to "oh what happened last year?" i get sad. his attitude doesnt help. i hurt so much during our breakup, when i saw him with that girl etc. i told this guy i loved him. it hurt that he didnt want me and wanted the girl who he fancied the pants off for a long time. he even use to hide messages from me that she had sent. i would say to him "you need to earn my trust back" and he would reply saying "nope im not indebted, i didnt even betray your trust and you deserved it, i couldnt continue anymore, dont blame me for the breakup" it stings.
ive taken a step back and for once i dont want to open up to him.
i dont something needs to be done. i want him to prove himself to me....prove he loves me (apparently he isnt in love with me because of my behaviour- this was posted elsewhere on this board).

i sent him a very long message last night. of course i regretted it. but i got a nice message this morning:
"sorry you feel that way, we've got to fix it and make you feel better. call you soon"

i just want to feel like the only girl in his life. i want to feel special, wanted and missed. right now im feeling very empty and upset.
i wish i could wave a magic wand and think positive thoughts...im sure once i get out the door and to uni ill be feeling better. but the thoughts are still lingering around in my mind.

how do i get over him and this girl last night? why did i have no problem when we first got back together? but now? its the only thing i seem to think about. how im second best to her. how she is better than me. she has more fun. she is more attractive. irrational thoughts i know.





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