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ICC,

First, let me start by saying that your post is excellent and thank you for bringing the issue up on here as I think that the whole problem of dating and the challenges that come along with trying to meet people are not addressed as often as they should be on this board.

But, I do have to say that men struggle as much as women do if not even more in some cases. I am a 28 year old guy and I, like your daughter, want nothing more then to be able to meet a great girl in order to enhance my life. As far as marriage and kids are concerned, I'm not sure I want all that right now but I know eventually I will but for the time being I would love to be in a serious, commited relationship with someone and to get the ball rolling.

But...here's the problem. I can't find anyone at all. I have been single for so many years that I am embarassed to admit how long, lets just say a long time. I,also like your daughter, am a hard-working professional guy. I have been with the same company for nine years, work a minimum of forty hours a week. I do not drink,smoke, or do drugs. I don't go to bars or clubs at all and I very much consider myself to be a family guy. My problem is that 99% of the girls that I come across dont seem to be looking for a guy like me.

There have been many posts on these boards about how nice guys finish last. I have seen many guys asking questions like why does the nice guy end up single and alone while the jerks and the perverts of the world end up getting more dates and phone numbers then they know how to handle? and there are even females who have responded to them saying because girls like bad boys and they like the types of guys that are adventerous and wild and exciting and they find good guys to be dull and boring. The point I am trying to make is that alot of girls dont seem to want guys like me. I know this does not apply to everyone and somewhere right now some girl is reading this and thinking how I am wrong and how shes looking for a decent guy and that may be so,but the truth is that guys like me finish last when it comes to women and I think alot of men who are like me would agree with that.

When I was in my early 20's I had a very serious girlfriend. Her and I were together for almost three years. We talked about getting married and having kids and all that stuff. We were almost engaged. Long story short, she broke up with me to be with a guy who was 11 years older then me who had a known drug and alcohol habit. When that didn't work out, she found another guy who also had a alcohol problem and now shes 25 has a baby with him and now he's in jail. She traded in the quiet life that she had with me for all the drama and craziness of "bad guys".

I sympathize with your daughter completely. I know what shes going through every step of the way and shes not alone. I wish I could give her some advice but like I say, I am going through the same thing and I don't have the answer either. Its just not fair.
[QUOTE=Mattm4000;2899415]ICC,

First, let me start by saying that your post is excellent and thank you for bringing the issue up on here as I think that the whole problem of dating and the challenges that come along with trying to meet people are not addressed as often as they should be on this board.

But, I do have to say that men struggle as much as women do if not even more in some cases. I am a 28 year old guy and I, like your daughter, want nothing more then to be able to meet a great girl in order to enhance my life. As far as marriage and kids are concerned, I'm not sure I want all that right now but I know eventually I will but for the time being I would love to be in a serious, commited relationship with someone and to get the ball rolling.

But...here's the problem. I can't find anyone at all. I have been single for so many years that I am embarassed to admit how long, lets just say a long time. I,also like your daughter, am a hard-working professional guy. I have been with the same company for nine years, work a minimum of forty hours a week. I do not drink,smoke, or do drugs. I don't go to bars or clubs at all and I very much consider myself to be a family guy. My problem is that 99% of the girls that I come across dont seem to be looking for a guy like me.

There have been many posts on these boards about how nice guys finish last. I have seen many guys asking questions like why does the nice guy end up single and alone while the jerks and the perverts of the world end up getting more dates and phone numbers then they know how to handle? and there are even females who have responded to them saying because girls like bad boys and they like the types of guys that are adventerous and wild and exciting and they find good guys to be dull and boring. The point I am trying to make is that alot of girls dont seem to want guys like me. I know this does not apply to everyone and somewhere right now some girl is reading this and thinking how I am wrong and how shes looking for a decent guy and that may be so,but the truth is that guys like me finish last when it comes to women and I think alot of men who are like me would agree with that.

When I was in my early 20's I had a very serious girlfriend. Her and I were together for almost three years. We talked about getting married and having kids and all that stuff. We were almost engaged. Long story short, she broke up with me to be with a guy who was 11 years older then me who had a known drug and alcohol habit. When that didn't work out, she found another guy who also had a alcohol problem and now shes 25 has a baby with him and now he's in jail. She traded in the quiet life that she had with me for all the drama and craziness of "bad guys".

I sympathize with your daughter completely. I know what shes going through every step of the way and shes not alone. I wish I could give her some advice but like I say, I am going through the same thing and I don't have the answer either. Its just not fair.[/QUOTE]

It is as hard for good girl to find somebody. I have a relative who is good looking professional and she got dumped left and right. She was even told to go to model school to learn how to dress, walk and so on.
When I was dating I was told by the guys to learn from women in the bar how to act. I was told that I was as serious as elderly person and don't dress as a young person and you name it.
I am pretty sure you'll be ok. Just wait until you hit 30 and it will be women looking for serious guy.
[QUOTE=Mattm4000;2899415]ICC,

First, let me start by saying that your post is excellent and thank you for bringing the issue up on here as I think that the whole problem of dating and the challenges that come along with trying to meet people are not addressed as often as they should be on this board.

But, I do have to say that men struggle as much as women do if not even more in some cases. I am a 28 year old guy and I, like your daughter, want nothing more then to be able to meet a great girl in order to enhance my life. As far as marriage and kids are concerned, I'm not sure I want all that right now but I know eventually I will but for the time being I would love to be in a serious, commited relationship with someone and to get the ball rolling.

But...here's the problem. I can't find anyone at all. I have been single for so many years that I am embarassed to admit how long, lets just say a long time. I,also like your daughter, am a hard-working professional guy. I have been with the same company for nine years, work a minimum of forty hours a week. I do not drink,smoke, or do drugs. I don't go to bars or clubs at all and I very much consider myself to be a family guy. My problem is that 99% of the girls that I come across dont seem to be looking for a guy like me.

There have been many posts on these boards about how nice guys finish last. I have seen many guys asking questions like why does the nice guy end up single and alone while the jerks and the perverts of the world end up getting more dates and phone numbers then they know how to handle? and there are even females who have responded to them saying because girls like bad boys and they like the types of guys that are adventerous and wild and exciting and they find good guys to be dull and boring. The point I am trying to make is that alot of girls dont seem to want guys like me. I know this does not apply to everyone and somewhere right now some girl is reading this and thinking how I am wrong and how shes looking for a decent guy and that may be so,but the truth is that guys like me finish last when it comes to women and I think alot of men who are like me would agree with that.

When I was in my early 20's I had a very serious girlfriend. Her and I were together for almost three years. We talked about getting married and having kids and all that stuff. We were almost engaged. Long story short, she broke up with me to be with a guy who was 11 years older then me who had a known drug and alcohol habit. When that didn't work out, she found another guy who also had a alcohol problem and now shes 25 has a baby with him and now he's in jail. She traded in the quiet life that she had with me for all the drama and craziness of "bad guys".

I sympathize with your daughter completely. I know what shes going through every step of the way and shes not alone. I wish I could give her some advice but like I say, I am going through the same thing and I don't have the answer either. Its just not fair.[/QUOTE]

It is as hard for good girl to find somebody. I have a relative who is good looking professional and she got dumped left and right. She was even told to go to model school to learn how to dress, walk and so on.
When I was dating I was told by the guys to learn from women in the bar how to act. I was told that I was as serious as elderly person and don't dress as a young person and you name it.
I am pretty sure you'll be ok. Just wait until you hit 30 and it will be women looking for serious guy.
Sex before marriage is a big question especially for woman. I had a jerk who convienced me that it is nothing than treated me like an s.. and called my work without me wanting it and it was just terrible. My dh never even wanted sex before marriage. I don't say that if guy wants sex before marriage he is not serious, but who knows what is right thing to do.





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