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Re: I Got Played
Apr 9, 2007
[QUOTE]I find this very sad as I don't think you were played at all, just the opposite. I think your "friend" gave you a wakeup call to take a good look at yourself and maybe he did you the biggest favor in the world by taking a good look at yourself.[/QUOTE]

I think you are right, but for a different reason. At first I was quite swayed by his, and other people's, opinions of me. I did start to feel bad about myself and my life. I did feel like since I was so young and inexperienced I should be listening to these older, wiser people. But then when I realized he was capable of just using me like that, my whole idea of him changed. I realized these folks, although older, aren't necessarily any better than me. We're all human. It just served to reinforce to my belief in myself that [I]I [/I]know me better than anyone, and [I]I [/I]know what I want better than anyone. I do still consider him a friend, but all his words just go in one ear and out the other now. And I do feel stronger for it all.

[QUOTE]Bottom line? It feels good to be independent and never having to depend on a man for your own happiness. It doesn't matter how much the job pays, it's about being out in the real world and knowing that the only person you can depend on is yourself. That brings good self-esteem and a feeling that no one can take away from you.[/QUOTE]

Actually - I don't agree with this. I did have periods where I worked and was basically independent, and I never felt amazing about it. I just felt tired all the time. To use my last job as an example - first of all, the job itself (including time to get ready and travel time) took up ten hours a day. Then I need to get 8-9 hours of sleep a day/night in order to function. BUT, I am one of those people who cannot fall asleep right away, and I usually lay in bed for a good hour or so before falling asleep. So right there that's 20 hours of my day. Leaving a measely 4 hours a day for leisure pursuits and me time? I don't think so. I was so exhausted all the time that I never felt like doing ANYthing else. I never felt like, "Oh, this is so great that I'm independent and don't have any time to do anything I actually want to do. Yay." ;) To me, having the whole day free to do as a please is what brings me a great feeling. I mean, I respect your opinion, don't get me wrong. But I've been on both sides of the fence and I figured out that I like this side better.

[QUOTE]Just wondering who did all the housework when you were -or if you still are- living with your boyfriend? like the cooking, cleaning, laundry? Did he have a maid, or were you helping?[/QUOTE]

I've never lived with him, glory be. But we're moving across country soon and then we'll be living together. You know, I would never feel comfortable having a maid or any kind of help. My view on cleaning? If you make a mess, you clean up your own mess. As for cooking, I don't cook. I microwave. But mostly we eat out for every single meal, so it's not an issue. I literally cannot even boil water right. Most of the time I try, I wander away and get sidetracked and by the time I remember it, all my water has evaporated. LOL So then I eat a Hot Pocket or something.

[QUOTE]so why not do it for a living? go to school, get a masters, phd... whatever you need to to become a psychotherapist, familiy and marriage counselor, psychologist??? sounds good to me... what about you?[/QUOTE]

Nah...I don't like to do anything that would tie me down. I already listen to my boyfriend's constant whining and moaning, so that's kind of like being a therapist LOL That's enough for moi!
Re: I Got Played
Apr 9, 2007
[QUOTE=GypsyArcher;2910543]I think you are right, but for a different reason. At first I was quite swayed by his, and other people's, opinions of me. I did start to feel bad about myself and my life. I did feel like since I was so young and inexperienced I should be listening to these older, wiser people. But then when I realized he was capable of just using me like that, my whole idea of him changed. I realized these folks, although older, aren't necessarily any better than me. We're all human. It just served to reinforce to my belief in myself that [I]I [/I]know me better than anyone, and [I]I [/I]know what I want better than anyone. I do still consider him a friend, but all his words just go in one ear and out the other now. And I do feel stronger for it all.



Actually - I don't agree with this. I did have periods where I worked and was basically independent, and I never felt amazing about it. I just felt tired all the time. To use my last job as an example - first of all, the job itself (including time to get ready and travel time) took up ten hours a day. Then I need to get 8-9 hours of sleep a day/night in order to function. BUT, I am one of those people who cannot fall asleep right away, and I usually lay in bed for a good hour or so before falling asleep. So right there that's 20 hours of my day. Leaving a measely 4 hours a day for leisure pursuits and me time? I don't think so. I was so exhausted all the time that I never felt like doing ANYthing else. I never felt like, "Oh, this is so great that I'm independent and don't have any time to do anything I actually want to do. Yay." ;) To me, having the whole day free to do as a please is what brings me a great feeling. I mean, I respect your opinion, don't get me wrong. But I've been on both sides of the fence and I figured out that I like this side better.



I've never lived with him, glory be. But we're moving across country soon and then we'll be living together. You know, I would never feel comfortable having a maid or any kind of help. My view on cleaning? If you make a mess, you clean up your own mess. As for cooking, I don't cook. I microwave. But mostly we eat out for every single meal, so it's not an issue. I literally cannot even boil water right. Most of the time I try, I wander away and get sidetracked and by the time I remember it, all my water has evaporated. LOL So then I eat a Hot Pocket or something.



Nah...I don't like to do anything that would tie me down. I already listen to my boyfriend's constant whining and moaning, so that's kind of like being a therapist LOL That's enough for moi![/QUOTE]

So who are you living with right now.. .are you living by yourself and your boyfriend just pays for the rent, utilities?? I dont get it... I thought you were not working and living with your boyfriend, hence all the posts saying you should get a job, be independent...
What do you do all day, if I may ask.. .dont you get bored???





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