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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

laylah....I 'm not sure how to explain this but i'll try and remember it is just my opinion. My first husband used to tell everyone that I didn't have a jealous bone in my body. Very true. He was an alcoholic who got progressively worse shortly after we married. I stayed with him for 22 years and 3 children. He is still an alcoholic and a happy one at that 15 years after our divorce. Used to stay out for days. Never occured to me that he could be a cheat. Still to this day I don't know or care if he ever cheated on me. In comes my second husband. I aquired multiple jealous bones. For some reason shortly after we married i didn't trust him at all. Never had these feelings while we were datin but hit me like a ton of bricks after we married. My gut was telling me something was going on with him. Low and behold he had a drug problem that believe it or not , even though I was married to an alcoholic for many years saw known of the signs. I thought he was cheating. WRONG! Cocaine was his only girlfriend. But you see how I sensed something was wrong? SOmetimes when we are hiding something no matter how big or small we act differently and some partners are perceptive enought to pick up on it. Some are just suspicious by nature. You say your BF has behaved like this in the past. Maybe due to your lign of work he is a little insecure in himself and projects it onto you. My husband caught his first wife in bed with a friend of his. Witnessed the whole scenerio. Broke his heart. Here I am thinking he's cheating with another woman and it was drugs. He wouldn't do what was done to him to his worst enemy let alone me. It took me years to help him to feel secure in OUR relationship and that I wouldn't do the same thing his first wife did. When he was secure the drug use stopped immediately. I don't know why I'm telling you this as our situations are very different but you might pick up some meaning in how others think and process things. Sometimes one partnet thinks the other is totally off base and yet there is an underlying reason that makes their partner think/feel as they do. And maybe your BF is just a little insecure. Just my opinions.


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