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Living at home
Apr 8, 2007
I am dating a 40 year old man. He still lives at hime with his parents. And that don't really bother me, but his mom talks to me and tells me that he never helsp her pay any bills. And keeps complaining to me. She tries to provide for her family. She is the only one who pays electric, rent, and phone there. And she makes the less of the money in the family then everyone else. She said she told him he would have to pay the electric this month and he said he wasn't gonna do it. her husband is disabled but always gives her half of the money he gets after he pays other things. my boyfriend has a car and always says he has to pay the insurance and car payment. He is always saying he is broke and don't have enough but then he will go shopping and stuff. ONce in a while he will give his mom a few dollars so she can drive to work but he still don't help her with the other bills. He has a full time job making pretty good a week. I just don't know what to tell her to do and she keeps talking to me about this. I love them both. Do you think my boyfriend is wrong? He says he can't afford to get his own place. She wants us to get our own place and get married but I don't see it happening cause he never pays anything there. So how would he provide for me or much less a family?

he pays his car payment and credit card bill and his cell. once in a while he will get some food if she sends him for some. but he wont even by the dog food most of the time. and 2 of the dogs are his. he will say he cant afford it and she will have to or he will get cheap kind they wont eat she says. she says he could at least give her like 25 a week if not more.

the thing is he has taken me out places and bought me stuff and buys food out etc... and lots of stuff from stores too. so it's not like he never takes me out cause we have ate out a lot of times and went places. but when it comes to his mom wanting money for rent and stuff like electric he will say hes broke

he does have a retirement fund. i went with him to see the guy that handles it and he has a HUGE amount of money in retirement that he cant get until he retires though. so i guess if he did want to marry me i would have to wait til he got his retirement money. he says he wants his own place but cant afford it. says his car payment is 500 a month and he has credit card bill and cell. he keeps saying maybe i will hit the lottery then i can get stuff paid off and my own place. and he says he don't lie and no one has ever called him a liar before. lol.he says he dont lie to his parents or me or his friends but whats that. sometimes when he says he dont have money on him its true cause he has to use his bank card to get some out and he dont have the CASH on him. and when i stay with him its at his paretns house. i used to stay over a lot but she said she is going to tell him i'm not allowed to stay over anymore. that it's not a motel. lol. and she asked him after we got in an argument the other day if he's sure he's not just using me as somone to sleep with? lol and he told her no if he was he wouldnt buy me all that stuff. and take me places. see? but she said that don't matter. you could still do that.

oh and no i don't think it's right that he don't pay her anything. the place they live in is in his name cause she had bad credit or something when someone used her credit cards before or stole them. but she pays everything. and she even offered to move and let him take over the place but he wont do that saying he cant afford it. she said it could be our place. her other kid that lives in another state helps her out more then him. and she think she should make him pay. and i agree because she is on social security and never harldy has any money to spend on herself cause of the bills. she dont have much money - less then he does yet she keeps the electric on and the phone, etc...

you know i always heard that watch out how a man treats his mother cause he will treat you the same way. so i guess if he don't even respect her he can't possibly respect me. which there has been times when we argued it felt like he didnt. and he would say i was just mad. but he has told me if he got a better job or whatever or made a lot that i wouldnt have to work and he would take care of everything. but down the line he would probably complain about that later. or become selfish with everything if he did get a lot of money. i have no idea.

and i'm not with him for what he buys me. i mean he dont buy me that much. and nothing really expensive. i mean yeah he bought me some clothes once and food and alcohol and stuff like that he buys. and stuff on vday and holidays etc.. and just stuff here and there but its not like he spends a huge amount on me all the time. oh and he is also buyign stuff to fix up his car and to make it a custom made vehichle. so i guess i should tell her about all the responses i got here and let her know that no it's not right...

his dad stays he lives free, eats free, and has sex free. lol. well its hs 2nd dad. and they dont get along that great either.

well his mom says hes a good-heartd person. and he is. i mean its not like he's a total jerk or anything. he don't smoke or drink. well unless i do sometimes. far as i know he doesn't cheat and all that lol. he spends lots of time w/me (when we r not fighting), and he has a lot of love and we had lots in common. so i figured he was a good person and all. except for i guess being immature at times and not helping her. so see why it can get confusing. he's a really nice and good person otherwise...

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