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3 years -- gone.
Apr 10, 2007
Last month, I found out that my girlfriend had been conversing with a guy over the internet for a couple months. There was a big falling out but we agreed to work through it. Weeks past and things really started to seem even better than before. I later found out -- that she began conversing with him yet again. I was furious that she could want to throw our relationship away. We are both intelligent individuals and have led 3 great years together. I couldn't understand why she'd do such a thing. After we broke up -- she decided to try and go to California to see the guy she was talking with. Now, she is only 17 (I'm 20), so naturally everyone freaked out. Cops were called, Attourneys were called -- everyone was trying to get her back.

After she was found 40 minutes from her destination (Sacramento), she was flown back home. When she returned, she was helped right away to have her medicine re-evaluated and she started seeing a phsychologist. They found out that she had stopped taking her bi-polar medicine for a while -- and that most of her actions took place because of it. During all this, she had decided to meet the guy when he had a layover in my city. She decided to pick him up and take him home -- much to her mothers surprise. Her mother decided to let him stay the night since he missed his plane. He was older by 10 years, had a pot-belly, was twitching all the time, and while he was over had stolen many medicines of my now ex-girlfriend's mother.

All of these actions were totally opposite from the person I knew for 3 years. I was totally confused -- a complete mess.

She has since stopped talking to this guy -- and has began to start her life back up again with getting medical and mental help.

Just now (a month later), her mother tells me she is finally getting back to her normal self, and is starting to realize all the mistakes she has made. Her mother said she had said "I've ruined my life, I'm so alone, I wont find anyone like him". Among many other realizations.

From what I know -- she has not done anything with the man, as far as sex and things like that.

I loved her more than anything, and we had actually already talked about marriage and things of the sort with her parents. Everything seemed to be going perfectly when all this happened. I know that these actions are not what she wanted -- and that she really needed medical help.

My now exgirlfriend and I will be talking about all these things shortly. And a million things have been running through my head.

Such As:

Would I ever be able to handle another relationship with her? She hurt me so bad -- but the hurt she inflicted was not her normal character at all -- and was mostly caused by her not taking her medicine. How much of her character -- and not her medicine -- contributed to her actions. I can't tell.

If we were to somehow get back together, would I be able to live with what she had done? Do relationships that have ended in this way EVER work out again? I'm not sure I could live down the fact that she became interested in another man (even though it may or may not have been because of her not taking her medicine).

Do I deserve better or should I not give up on something that we both loved so much? I honestly believed she was my soul mate. I can not think of someone who could ever top what we had together, ever. We were so happy.

I'll cut these thoughts short so I don't make you read any further. Please -- any feedback would be great.

Please read the complete post if you plan on replying.
Personally, I think it's the mother who needs a psychological evalution. Her teenager daughter brings home the strange, signifigantly older man that she met on the internet, and she lets him stay in their home overnight?? Who cares if he missed his plane? What the-? If that was me trying to pull that BS I would get laughed right in my face and then grounded til I was 18. The man would not get a single foot inside the house, no way, no how.

A teenage girl sneaking off to meet a guy she's been chatting to online? Wow, [I]that [/I]never happens. Normally teenage girls are so level-headed and sensible. I'm kind of disturbed that everyone in her life is trying to make your ex-girlfriend feel like a total crazy. People who live in glass nuthouses shouldn't throw stones, like her mother who lets strange men sleep over at the house, especially when it's the [I]same man [/I]she got in trouble for trying to see. If I showed up on the doorstep at seventeen with a strange man...wait, no. I wouldn't even have dared attempt that, because I already would have known my mom would have laid the smack down, for real.

It's also kind of disturbing to me that her mom is also gung ho about her daughter getting married when she's only seventeen. Obviously, she isn't too devoted to the idea of marriage being as that she is still likely in high school and is looking into meeting other guys. I think what your ex-girlfriend needs is to head off to college or a job in another state where she can be independent and grow into herself within being constantly told she's a whacko.

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