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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


My boyfriend of 1 year (this sunday!) was doing drugs when we started going out. His dad had just gone to jail (he was only 17) and he said he was depressed and everything and that's why he did it. He told me he stopped when we started dating. I had been in a relationship before where the guy cheated on me saying he'd been under the influence of drugs and alcohol so it bothered me that my new boyfriend did this. When I told him my concerns he promised not to do them anymore. He also told me that he really had no friends, which didn't really bother me because that was more time for me!

His mom is our boss and I'm slowly getting to know his dad (he got out of jail 3 months into our relationship). He also told me that he doesn't like to make decisions...I don't know why but he said that it had something to do with an abusive childhood.

Anway, his sister and her boyfriend were doing "taped interviews" with all of their friends this past summer and interviewed me on camera and asked me why I liked to boss him around. I told them I don't think I do and they laughed but dropped it. My b/f said that I don't and that if I did he'd tell me.

Things have been a little tense these past few months since his brother came back from California (his brother resents me because I wouldn't "let" my b/f go out with him when he was getting high) and now my b/f is telling me that his parents are saying I have too much controll over him. I'm trying not to tell him what to do or whatever and I have never told him he couldn't hang out with his brother or anyone else for that matter, but I don't know what to do. Plus, people that he hangs out with now are mad at me because he never goes over there...

(I live in a city about 55 miles away from him and on his day off he usually comes up to see me. Well, one day his dad asked him where he was going and he said "to see my girl" and his dad told him it wasn't worth the gas)

Also, we were at his dad's apartment one day and one of his brother's friends was there and she was saying that she asked my b/f to start picking her up from school and he said that he had to ask me. I was mad and told him that it's his gas and he doesn't have to get permission to do stuff, you know? Maybe he feels like he does because when I call him I usually ask him where he is and what he's doin and sometimes who he's with if I hear other people talking. To me that's not controlling, it's curiousity...maybe it's just me.

I'm an insecure person and, I don't know, I guess I just want everyone to like me. It makes me feel bad when I hear that his mom (who's like a 2nd mom to me) is telling him to break up with me because I'm too controlling.

I've been trying and it only seems to get worse.





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