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My own problems
Apr 20, 2007
I've thrown in my two cents to many people here trying to help but I'm going to post my own current issues for advice.

I am a 32-years old, divorced dad. Five months after my seperation/then divorced I started to date again. I met a woman who is six years younger than me who has a child of her own. Our relationship great quickly and feel in love. This woman was everything I wanted in someone: She was funny, made me feel young, great to my kids and so gorgeous, I can't explain it, she's a 10 in my book. (I am so phyiscally attracted to her I can't see straight)

There was talks of marriage fairly quickly. We clicked that well... so much fun together. In bed, we couldn't get enough of each other. About four months into our relationship her ex-boyfriend called me (you can read the full story under my profile, past posts). He didn't know we were still dating and that they have been seeing each other for weeks. A full blown relationship with two men at the same time.

I broke it off with her and it was really hard. She begged me back, telling me she made a huge mistake and that I was the best thing to ever happen to her. She sent me text messages, called me, sent cards in the mail... all begging me back. So after a few weeks and talking to friends and family about all that, I gave her a 2nd chance.

The plan was to start back into it slowly, but that really didn't happen.

The thing is, her ex-boyfriend is the best friend of her best friends husband. Might have to read that twice for it to make sense. Another way to put it... my ex-GF's (lets call her Carla) best friend is Sara (not real name). Sara's husband happens to be best friends with Carla's ex-boyfriend. So there is always that there. This ex-BF is sometimes around.

Sara and her husband don't care for me that much because of the whole factor of the ex-BF. All the rest of Carla's friends love me to death as well as her family. They had never seen her so happy before.

Anyway, these two people (Sara and hubby) always have tried to cause problems between me and my ex-GF. Talking about the ex-BF and trying to get them back together (like what happened during the cheating).

There were times they almost talked Carla into breaking up with me. Then in December we did break up. She ended up back with her ex-BF right after that for one night (her friend and hubby got them together at a club). We were apart for a few weeks and tried to work on things. Back together for around a month and we broke up AGAIN.

Since then, nothing has happened, meaning not dated anyone else. We talk on the phone daily. Every now and then we see each other and will sleep together but we are still officially broken up. We've talked about getting together again, giving it another shot but she's been the one that can't figure out what she wants. She says she wants to be with me, that she knows she's treated me bad in the past but didn't know if it would work because of what she did before. Still, she says she wants me in her life. I love this woman, she loves me but I can't deal with the whole dynamics of her friend and husband being a problem. I would have tried to figure out how we can make it work a few weeks ago, maybe even a week ago but I think I need to let her go for good.

On top of it, there is this woman who is about the same age as my ex-GF who I meet a couple of months ago at a training class. We had class together for 6 weeks and now do follow-up classes each month. We hit it off really well. She was beautiful, smart, funny, etc. A couple of days ago one of her friends emailed me saying I need to ask her out because she really likes me. I really like her as well. The only problem with it is, she lives about an hour away from me and has a crazy ex-husband.

My problem now is: How do I let my ex-GF go who I love with all my heart? If I ask this new girl out and it doesn't work out, I probably have damaged anything every happening again with my ex-GF. I don't want to hurt my ex-GF even though she has hurt me (I'm too nice at times). I mean, my ex still calls me every day... morning, afternoon and night. I miss her and I wish it could work out somehow. She's an amazing woman 95% of the time. I said it before, if I made a list of good things/bad things it would have a list of 100 for her good qualities and 2 for her bad but those bad things over-shadow her good qualities.

I am so confused right now.





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