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(This is the second part of my horrible night/morning. The first part is Cheating...need help ASAP, if you'd like to read and comment)

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. Before we got together he was doing drugs. He stopped before we got together but I asked him not to do it anymore and he promised me he wouldn't. The reason is I had a bad experience with an ex and he cheated on me (multiple times) when he was high - long story short he gave me an STD. I promised myself I would never put my self in a situation where I could potentially go through that again.

Early this morning when he got off of work he went over to a friend's house (where they do drugs but he swears he never does them when he's over there). Well, it was 4/20 - a drug "holiday" I guess you could say pretty much where people get stoned or whatever (I'm not sure how explicit I can be). He was at this friend's house and they were smoking. Supposedly they were smoking in a different room but when I talked to him at 3:30 a.m. he was just getting home (he went over there are 1:30). He said he felt like he was contact high because of the smoke coming from the door and from the door opening and closing. I got upset because that's like getting high but I cooled off because it wasn't his fault. Of course he had the option to leave...which I brought up and he said he should have.

I got to see him today and I wanted to see the text his friend sent him about him cheat on me (from the first part) and I was going through it and I saw he had some texts from another friend of his - a notorious pot head. They were "are you almost done at work" and "text me as soon as you get off of work"...I think he wanted to smoke with my boyfriend, but when I went ot see what my boyfriend said there was nothing there. It was like he deleted them. I asked him why they were there and he said they should be and I showed him that they weren't. He didn't say anything about it. Normally I'm not this paranoid about this kind of stuff but he admitted to smoking last 4/20 and I don't want to be dating a guy who 1) would do that period, and 2) would lie to me.

Am I just being paranoid? Do I actually trust him like I think/say I do? Why would he lie to me? Why would he delete his texts?

I'm afraid we'll get into a big fight and we really don't have much time alone together...today he paid special attention to me which makes me think he's trying to hide something, but maybe he just feels bad about what happened last night? I'm sitting here crying I have no clue what to do/think/feel...





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