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This is very subtle, and I think you have been PLAYED and manipulated into your present state. these are my feelings:

[QUOTE=leftbehind07;2935031]
[B][I]1.Over the past years, the guy gave me a lot of chances and most of the time he was trying to draw my attention to the things which he didnt like about me and even giving me hints on how to improve, but with no avail.[/I][/B]

So..he has always told you in many ways that you "need to improve" PLEASE!

2[B][I]. Each time I decided to act crazy and ask him not to contact me any more, he was always the one who took the initiative, trying to find any occasion to get back in touch.[/I][/B]

Oh yes, if you break up, he is the only one who is allowed to do it

3.[I][B] If only I could record our phone calls and our outings, any sane person can immediately tell that I am by no means a normal person. Each time we go out:

a. I either cry, or attack him for no good reason, or keep looking around me, beside me, behind me and all over the whole place[/B][/I].

Not abnormal, just a very unhappy person

[B][I]b. I never eat or drink what he orders for me, instead I keep complaining about the bad service at the cafe or the restaurant.[/I][/B]

He ORDERS for you!!!???

c. W[I][B]hen we start a conversation, I steer the conversation in the direction of my personal suffering and I become too emotional about my pathetic conditions, and I keep talking about my ex's, my work problems, my health problems and end up crying!!!![/B][/I]

"Don't bother me with your silly problems." Whose judgement is this "too emotional"? And where is the "Oh Honey, let me comfort you"?

[I][B]d. When he gives me a compliment I immediately imagine that he is rather trying to make fun of me and if he tries to show consideration I become so damn attacking. For example last time we met, he said: 'oh..it must have been a real tiring day. you look exhausted!'

Fine, no harm! But stupid me!!!!!! I was almost going to kill him just because how dare he tell me I look exhausted!!!![/B][/I]

As would we all!! Insensitive and putting down to say the least

[B][I]e. I keep telling him that I am full of defects and - believe it or not - last time I said to him: 'You think I am psycho, don't you?!' The guy was puzzled and escaped the answer because the question itself is extremely silly!!!!!!!![/I][/B]

He probably said "YES!!" to himself and did a fist-pump. What ever happened to "Of course not"

f[I][B]. I cannot keep a conversation going with him, no matter how hard he tries to pull the words out of my mouth, and I rather keep going off track to the extent that I address a completely different topic. Last time he commented and told me to 'stop being distracted'.[/B][/I]

In other words, he is saying "I am running this conversation, now behave and sit and listen like a good girl"

[B][I]g. I tend to be extremely pathetic, and last time during lunch he said to me: ' why do you look so miserable, are you going to cry again or what?'[/I][/B]

Charming!! Whatever happened to "I love you, How can I help?"?

[B][I]h. I always give him the impression that I am a victim of my circumstances and I convey the horrible image of an aimless person who has no idea of what exactly she is doing in this life at a time when he clearly sets points on what he intends to do. I fail to COMMUNICATE!!!!!!!!![/I][/B]

How do you know you give him this impression? Maybe cos he told you???

[B][I]i. I never tried to win him! All the time moving from bad to worse and no matter how many chances he gave me, I never made use.[/I][/B]

Considering everything that you have said, this the first positive thing you have done

[B][I]I remeber it was hardly once or twice that our date went fine, and he clearly noticed this and told me: 'so today you are more stable and radiant' I could even feel it in the way he shook hands with me and his insisting to stay longer together when I excuse myself to leave.[/I][/B]

Oh, please...even when you are feeling good, he does not pass up the chance to remind you that usually you are a basket case? SHAKES YOuR HAND!!!!????

[B][I]j. Each time after I leave him, I find myself forced to send him an sms apologizing for my sort of 'crazy' attitude and giving silly excuses of ' i was tired', ' i was stressed'!!!!!!!!!!![/I][/B]

You are buying into his manipulation big-time

[B][I]I had to change...I cant remember how many times I acted really insane and nasty when in contrast he was always so stable. Each time I see him I am [B][I]overwhelmed and obsessed [/I][/B]with fears of seeming silly/ stupid or making faults and under the pressure of this obsession I always pushed him away from me.

I swear to God, the guy [I]had[/I] something for me at the begining and I could feel it in every single thing he said and did..the way he always begged to see me and not giving up on me so easily when I decide to treat him like ****![/I][/B]

Something inside you was screaming "What is wrong with this picture??"
Of course he didn't want you to leave, them he would have to start breaking in a new person, he has you just about done

[B][I]There are limits for everything and the guy cant take it any more. Guys dont have so much patience or nerves for all this ****!

The question is: [B]WHAT TO DO??????!!!!!!![/B]
Too late now! He must have lost any hope in my changing to better and now that I stressed on cutting all sorts of contact, I dont have any excuse to try to get him back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shall I send him an email or what?!!!!!!!!!!!
PLEASE HELP![/QUOTE]
[/I][/B]
You are worried that you have not changed or improved enough to satisfy him!! You want one more chance to be put down, convinced that you are a useless psycho case without him to guide you and run your life?? That is not what it is supposed to look like, Leftbehind. Picture somebody who likes you for you, not a faulty piece of merchandise that always needs fixing and controlling. This man has almost destroyed your self-esteem, don't touch him with a barge pole, you are so lucky to have left him. Now start working on the new you who won't be told she is second-rate and needs "improving". Good luck with it all, Sera





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