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Relationship Health Message Board


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Being a SAHM can get very isolated if you are not a mothers-club-joining type of person. Also, it can be hard to feel like an interesting and vital person if your whole day's conversation has revolved around potty training or some such. You do need girlfriends, I take your point about feeling lonely in your marriage, men are good up to a point when it comes to sharing feelings and what they call "small talk" (you know, we call it therapy). I am not going to make suggestions as to what you can do, or what you can join, etc. I will say, though, that you need to do something. I admire any shy person who fights it down and gets out there, I think that is as brave as anyone can get, and I mean that, since there is no life-or-death thing riding on it. (You think YOU ramble...). I also think that there is nothing easier than to become reclusive, I fight this all the time. That is OK if you are happy being a recluse, but if not then you have to do something. (Actually, ARE you a mothers-club-joiner?..There are worse things in life). Anyway, if you could just stand on your front porch and grab friends, we would all be doing it (until the naighbors complained about the loose woman etc etc). So, come on here and vent anytime, there are actually some very sensible people on here. who will give you lots of feedback.
Being a SAHM can be tough. The best thing you can do for yourself is try to get out and interact with other moms in your area. At the very least you will have the children in common and that's a good place to start. Do you have any community theater around you? That would be a great way to get out and do something for you (which all moms need!!!!) and help you meet new people. Your oldest will be in school next year, so joining the PTA/PTO (whichever it is where you are) will help you get to know the other parents who are involved with the school and it gets you really involved with your children's schooling.

Everyone has a lot of acquaintences (sp?), but not a lot of people have more than one or two real, true friends. Those are hard to come by. Look at what happened with the one you thought was a close friend. Don't measure yourself based on the quantity of your friends, but rather the quality. If I measured myself by the quantity I would no doubt be the biggest loser of them all!
I can relate to you completely! I'm 32 and in the process of a divorce. Now, I have been extremely shy my entire life. Now, I'm not as shy, but it does creep up on me a lot! Elementary, middle, and high school was the worst. I had very few friends, almost next to nothing. I talked to them at school, but outside...I did nothing until about my junior and senior year. College wasn't too bad. I had two semi good friends before my husband and I moved off to the west coast. I attended a university and met my best friend of all time. We totally click. She has been my only friend for the past 3 years. We have our differences, but for the most part we think alike and are always there for each other. So, don't feel bad for only having one friend. I feel like a loser too! And the worst part, like I mentioned above....I'm in the middle of a divorce. That is going to be the toughest for me being single!! OMG! do I dread it. I can talk to people, but it's hard to initiate you know!? I almost feel like I could just live like a hermit with my cat. BUT I just have this ache to get out and meet people! I feel like I am a boring person. I never know what to say to people. I'll see how things go once I am on my own. It's going to be hard!!! lonely! My husband and I are complete opposites. He is so out going! He has tons of friends!! He has a lot of support where he is. My friends---well they are wives of his friends!!! How is that good for me? They probably will look at me differently now. But, it does not matter now. I am staying out here on the west coast, while my husband will be staying in the midwest. So, I'll have to really get out in the real world and try if I want to have any friends. Plus, dating! OMG! that is going to be even harder!!! I have a hard enough time keeping conversation with my physical therapist cuz he's so good looking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He makes me all nervous, like I can't even breathe! I'm kind of rambling here! There is hope for us. We just have to bite the bullet and try.





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