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[QUOTE=lola11;2939287]Thank you - ok a few things, he knows about my friend. However, i dont organise weekends away with this friend or any other male out of respect for him. I dont have a problem with him having female friends but it became a problem when it went from the ocasional text and phone call to a dozen or so texts between the hours of 1am and 4am. Plus he lied when i asked him if he texts her during the night, he said no. He was on a night out aon Sat and was supposed to meet me, he didnt call and despite me calling him he didnt not answer or respond. He claims he was too drunk but was compess mentus enough to text her?! :confused:[/QUOTE]

And that's exactly why I was asking. You are being up front to be sure that you don't hurt his feelings and he is lying about it trying to hide it from you. Why is he trying to hide it if it is all innocent, especially where he knows you have guy friends and would be fine with him have female friends? Do you see what I'm saying.

[QUOTE=lola11]We have had this conversation about her many times - he insists they are only friends. He has many female friends as a result of work but somehow i feel this one is different. Plus we've been having problems and yes, we were annoying each other, thats why i gave him space and did not call for a few days and yes he called me. BUT, is this acceptable behaviour?? should he be going to see her, bearing in mind they only worked together for 3 months that was over a year ago and have only seen each other a few times since. It strikes me as odd thathe would much rather text her through the night than me - his live in GF of 5 years! How do i address this issue without sounding like a paraniod wreck??[/QUOTE]

I don't blame you for feeling this one is different. Did he hide the other ones? Probably not. He is treating her different, acting like she is different, and therefore she is. No, this is not acceptable whether or not you are having problems. Have you confronted him about lying about the overnight texting yet? I would ask him why he has to hide it if it is all so innocent. Tell him you know he's had female friends and that doesn't bother you, but his lying about [I]her[/I] is bothering you.

[QUOTE=lola11]One more thing about 2 years ago he accused me of being paraniod and not trusting him when i suspected he was using drugs - he looked me in the eye and lied. I was right. He lied about it for the first 3 years of our relationship - perhaps why i find it difficult to trust him. Oh and yeah he also booked a weekend to go this girl last year behind my back - i found out from a friend. i gave him the benefit of the doubt then too.[/QUOTE]

All I can say here is past behavior is a good indicator of future behavior. How many times can you give him the benefit of the doubt when he lies the way he does. How much more are you seriously willing to put up with? He can turn it around on you all he wants, but the bottom line is [I]HE[/I] is the one who is lying to you and hiding things from you. I don't know of many other women who wouldn't be upset in your shoes.

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