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Hi Guy...
Wow, I just finished reading all these posts...what a different range of advice you are getting here. For what its worth, I agree with Seraph.
First of all, it's good you came here to vent and I believe you love your wife alot. Yes, she has self image issues - I will not presume why she has them, no one on this board knows this, despite the fact that most people seem to think she is bringing them on herself.
I believe that no one has the right to take their insecurities out on their spouse, no matter what it is about. There are tons of people out there with problems, mental issues, health issues....you name it. Not just self image issues. No matter what, there is a reason she is feeling like this and yes, she needs to get to the bottom of it, so that she doesnt take her feelings out on you.
I will say that though as much as it seems you love your wife, remember she is your "wife". Some of these responses have been in my opinion very disrespectful to her. People can advise and give advice, but saying things like "if she doesnt want to get off the sofa" or "**** or get off the pot"...I would not like anyone to say that about my spouse. I kept reading and waiting for you to defend her but you did not. No, she doesnt have the right to take things out on you....but I hope you are more supportive of her in real life than you have been on here, because she will feel that.

Not everyone who is overweight is that way because they just cant control their eating. That's like saying all people who are depressed are that way because they're just in bad moods all the time.

Laylah:

"Tell your wife you get a grip.....both would do her good".

This guy came her looking for help for himself and his wife. What you are telling him to do is going to make things worse for her and consequently for him. This is a really insensitive thing for any one to say to their spouse.
With all due respect, I think you are upset at your friends husband for not allowing him to speak to you and this is coming out in your advice towards this posters wife. She is not your friends wife and she may have some issues. Yes, she needs to do something to get a handle on her weight and to stop taking it out on her husband absolutely, but believe me, I know from experience as I've been there, when you lose the weight, the problems that caused them are still there. The extra pounds are symptomatic of problems that person needs to deal with. I'm not excusing it, but just suggesting people be a little more gentle with their advice. As far as your friend goes, I hope you have not been giving this advice to him about his wife, because "if" so, this is more than likely the reason he is not talking to you, not because she wont let him. If I in Cyberspace can detect that you have very little respect for anyone who is overweight, so for sure must she and maybe she can not handle that. Remember that you are his "friend" but she is his "wife" and there is a fine line between giving advice and being disrespectful of someone's spouse, once you cross it, you cant always go back. My apologies if this comes across as rude, because I would never want to hurt anyones feelings.

To the original poster.....you dont deserve to be treated rudely by no means, but you married this woman, and marriage means you work together to resolve things. Give her the benefit that there may be more to it, than just being lazy. Try to help her resolve it, and then if there's nothing else causing it, then sure, this is her problem she needs to deal with.

Just my two cents guys....I hope you and your wife can work through this.

Carsam:wave:

P.S. I also believe most men ooogle beautiful women, whether their own wife or girlfriend, is overweight, or skinny, or even really attractive themselves. It is in their nature!





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