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Really is one of the worst things I could ever experience. Its very sad and depressing for me. Not sure if I talked about it here before but I was really into a girl that worked with me. I got alot of mixed signals like very strong flirting one day then the next day almost nothing. I had a feeling we had been friends for too long though. She got out of a 4year relationship with her very first bf and then dated another guy for close to a year which was during the time I knew her. I kind of always thought I would meet other girls and maybe I could have a shot with her if she broke up with the other guy. She broke up with him and I decided to go and ask her out.

She never told me directly no and when I asked her out I think she thought at first that it was going out as friends. We all went out bowling one night and I made the mistake of acting distant and angry showing something was wrong because she was with her ex bf when we went (the one of 4 years). I knew that there would always be something between them and I eventually after that night talked to her about it. I told her I knew that she would always have feelings for him and wanted to be with him again and that I wouldnt be mad at her just because she didnt like me and we would still be friends.Whats sad is that she even admitted he treated her so badly. I just wanted a chance to show I could be good to her, but who am I to come in between their long history.

I usually just blow off girls if they don't like me and don't usually stay friends with them. Its just my way of getting over it. After getting to know her for close to a year she definitely is a very good woman and has a lot of qualities I look for. Its different for me actually keeping someone I like alot around even though she doesn't share the same feelings and only wants to be friends. We went out again with a group and she came with her ex again. This time he was all kissing her and what not. I felt sick and very hurt. I caught her a few times looking at me because I knew she it made me uncomfortbale them two being around me. I somehow just managed to play it off like nothing and joked around and laughed while the whole time inside I was so hurt.

This feeling sucks I hope she is happy even though it may not be with me. She truly is everything I could ask for and I would hate to see her fall back in the situation she had with her ex again. Its her decision I guess. I try to see it as her loss that she didn't get with me and it usually helps. We all have those days I guess where it seems worse than other days. Thanks for reading all this. It helps to just write all this out and this board is truly great.

God bless. Ken





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