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I think this thread took a wrong turn when Laylah said that WITML's husband would leave in 6 months and that CPS would be called on her and her children would be taken away. There are no worse "fighting" words to a mother, even a mother-to-be. After that WITML couldn't see anything else but mad. It is a natural reaction. Laylah was trying to help and in the process stated something that caused WITML to shut down to anything of value that Laylah is trying to say. At least that is how I see the situation. I'm glad to see you guys still talking and still trying to sort this out.

I too have been on both sides of this sort of situation. I grew with an abusive alcoholic as a father and had an enabling mother who was more worried about what he was doing than what her children were doing. He got sober when I was 18. Then my brother became an alcoholic at a young age, eventually turning to pot then meth. He continued his addiction, got married and had three children. His wife became addicted to meth as well. My brother's use escalated with my parents enabling he and his wife all the way until my brother finally went to prison for the last 3 years. While he was in prison, I finally called CPS on my SIL and my parents eventually ended up with custody of the children.

I on the other hand was the "good" child and worked my way through college. I've had a good career for 16 years, own a house, nice cars, have money in investments and saving and have a wonderful husband and a 6 year old daughter.

Then I found Internet Pharmacies. It started out innocently enough with a little xanax before bed. It only escalted from there to a full blown addiction to vicodin with a few benzos on the side. My husband joined me in my addiction and ended up even worse off than I was. I was able to control my use to an extent but he could not, if he had them, he'd take them and if he didn't have them, he went through bad withdrawals and was looking for any way possible to get them.

I ended up in jail! ME! The "good" child! I almost lost everything, I could have lost everything. I put my family through legal hell and went into a horrible depression where I only got out of bed to go to work. Once I pled guilty - to a misdemenor and got put on probation for a year, I could finally look up and out. It could have been sooo much worse, I am so thankful to God, to my husband, my parents, my boss, my brother, everyone was so supportive, it was unbelieveable.

It took my husband longer to get off the pills than it did me. He lied to me about it. He'd be obviously high, and lie about his use right to my face, making up crapy stories. He had always been honest to a fault, yet these pills turned him into a dirty, rotten liar and a blittering idiot. I finally had to give him an ultimatum and that is when he finally got clean. He knew that I meant it. I am and was so sorry for putting my dd in this situation, I was about to jepordize her any longer. Plus, I realized just what I must have looked like on the pills. Pure, unadulterated stupidity perpetuated by ME, a master's-degree-holding, I'm-better-than-you, goody-two-shoes, 38 year old grown woman! I NEVER thought anything like this could happen to me, I was far superior to those other addicts in my life and I was far too educated to think that I of all people could ever be an enabler myself. I was all about tough love when I told my parents what they should do about my brother.

Then I was placed in a cell for three nights and 4 days with 3 meth addicts and it was then I knew that I was no better than them or anyone else on this Earth and it wasn't my place to judge anyone or feel as if I was above anyone. I learned a lot of valuable lessons. My brother just got out of prison a couple of months ago and I am so happy to have him back! I think that I would still be punishing him (as if it were MY place to punish and judge him) and never want to have a relationship with him again if this hadn't happened to me. I would have missed out on that.

I've had three very close loved ones come out of addiction, my father, my brother, and my husband and it is soooo nice to see the person you love come out of this alive! It is worth whatever you can do to get your mom out of this. But, you can only control yourself and not her. Going to Alanon and Adult Children of Alcoholics meeting really helped me as a young women understand much about addiction (and addiction still crept incidiously into my own mind and body.)

I'm not sure if I expect you to read all of that and get anything out of it WITML. You probably feel like it has nothing to do with you. I guess that I just wanted to say that I understand from all points of view, how hard this situation is for you, but please don't think that you are above any of this yourself. Don't think that you are too educated, rich (I totalled a Lexus, which is what percipitated my subsequent arrest, not because I got a DUI but because the pills were in my possession,) smart, or anything else. No one is imune or imortal. And people like Laylah can have a lot of insight into the foggy mind of an addict like your mother.

Take care of yourself and those two little babies!

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