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[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][COLOR="DarkOrchid"]Thanks guys, your replies make me feel better :) Just to set a couple of things straight, [COLOR="Magenta"]Nina000[/COLOR], I'm not a student as such; I am in full-time employment and part-time education. So although I have money (not much since I paid for all the bills when Natalie and I lived together because she could only afford to service her debt), I felt that the time wasn't right to propose until I had come through my exams and could devote more time to the decision and the relationship in general. I am angry about not being given that chance because I don't think Natalie realised how much pressure these exams have put me under, especially since I used to see them as a hurdle to making the next step in our relationship: passing the exams would have made it a lot easier for me to get a job in Natalie's area.

Regarding Natalie's exes, she didn't so much compare me to them, but made recurring references to the fact that I was never her "type". She said I wasn't the kind of guy she would have been interested in had we not got to know each other. I guess that says more about her than me: she fell in love with me (at least I believe so) and then convinced herself that she had fallen out of love because I didn't conform to her standards for the ideal boyfriend. All this, and when we first got together she was forever telling me how she was fed up of cocky, confident guys who were only after one thing and that I was the kind of guy she had been waiting for and thought would never come along. You are right: she seems unstable.

Hi, [COLOR="Magenta"]Seraph[/COLOR]. The general vibe I get for Natalie making contact is that she feels guilty and thinks that I must crave her attention. I do to an extent; although, I know that I shouldn't and that the sooner I let go, the better. I think though, like me, Natalie doesn't want to accept that we have to let go of our friendship in order to move on in our separate lives. She maintains that she wants to be friends but she hasn't explained how she imagines our friendship working in the future. Perhaps there's a chance that she's keeping me as a back-up option. I don't know. I entertain that possibility; a time when she contacts me in tears and tells me how much she misses me. But I think that is based in vanity more than anything. Deep down, I think I know that we could never work second time around.

I have been going out and trying to meet new people, girls included. I know it's too soon to get involved with someone given the rebound factor, but it feels like my only option to relieve the pain :( So far I've only made eye contact with other girls. I find myself instantly comparing them to Natalie and, of course, nobody compares. I'm in limbo at the moment because of my exams. They'll be over on Thursday, thank goodness. I'm going out this Friday with the two colleagues with whom I go to college. A part of me is hoping that something develops between myself and my female colleague (she doesn't work in my office, but another one in the same town), but another part is worried that I'm motivated by the wrong reasons. We are good friends and I wouldn't want to spoil that.[/COLOR][/FONT]

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