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Relationship Health Message Board


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OH, I do know my hubby! But, he and I got into a heated discussion...he does NOT like the way that I "talk" on the net...and I had described some different things that a fella that sometimes writes to me, had written to me...and he was not a happy camper,after that! And, we have had this "discussion" many, many times....I have never had too much of a problem on the net...except for my addiction to it..Now THAT in itself, IS a major problem! (part of this is that I have no friends that I can hang with any longer...I moved away..and I am starting from scratch..all over again..been where I am for a short amount of time..and I don't have other women to hang out with...all of my "pals" are back home, so I shop alone...and I am a bit lonely! I didnt think that it would be so frustrating ..but, it is! I will also say, that people can be extremely cold, and very, very stand-offish...in some areas....so, that is also difficult too! I feel very frustrated...and my hubby knows this! I guess that he thinks that I don't need a woman friend, that much...that I really need him! But, I would love to have a close female "close friend" again..here where I am living...I used to have a very close friend..but, it was a messy friendship(long saga, trust me)! I was forced to put a stop to it....by my hubby....he couldn't stand the way that this woman was trying to sabatoge his and my relationship(which she was)! She was the type of person that would lie, to make up things about him, so that she could have me as her closest bud' and never get married! I don't think that she is a very happy person in general! SHe also, hurt me, years in the past...and so,I kept putting off, getting rid of her...but,because my hubby ,and my family (especially my mom,and also other good close friends of mine as well)put up with my complaining about her...and also what my hubby "Felt" that gut instincts told him, that she was NOT a good friend for anybody, and worst of all, me!
He was actually more "on it" about her,,,and I realized this after I dumped her! She ended up being soooo jealous !!!..(I knew that she had some major problems...,but not until I left her....I had heard from an ex-boyfriend who sometimes wrote to her..that she thought that I was "Full of myself"..She knew that I posted poetry on several sites under a pen name...(she already really knew this, well) and yet, she made this annoying comment to my ex- who sent me her letter, (to him.)..saying that she couldn't believe I was doing such a thing,,,and "now I was calling myself another name" and "she sounds so full of herself!!And, all she does, is just post poetry on the net,and she doesn't work anymore!" I ended up telling my ex- please do not send anymore of this negativity to me! My mother ,as well as my other close pals were thrilled my hubby got me to finally end this *enmeshed* friendship...as I used to constantly complain about the rotten things that she would try to do, to me,and to every single friend or ex-boyfriend of mine!(She didn't respect me at all!) I still have dreams about her..and I keep saying in the dreams..."HEy! Why am I STILL talking with/to you?! We are NOT friends any longer!!"
It's honestly quite strange Well, at least for me, that is!

I tend to reach out to others on the net...but, I am trying to pull back,,,and not be so "friendly"...this is a difficult thing for me...but, I do realize that I have gotten "stung" badly from a few guys on the net....more guys than women....but, The guys lie (well, the ones that I have sort of gotten to know, somewhat)and I KNOW better!
I am slowly getting the message...I just have to back off, totally, and act like a serious person, most of the time! (Very hard to do ...but, I am making an actual effort!)i
I cannot be so friendly any longer....more business like....this is NOT my true personna...but, that is life..and I have to CHANGE now,and forever!

I asked this ,because I was bothered by what my hubby has been telling me, over and over...he has even threatened to take away the internet access!
I don't want that to happen! I still want to be ME...but, I guess, I realized, that I do have a stupid way of writing...that I have gone "too far" in ways that I write letters to other people, namely guys..that I consider only friends or acquaintances....(and my hubby does know how I am...but, he worries) so, I am trying to re evaluate the way that I talk with others, not just online...but face to face...and stop being more friendly...I will HAVE to work much more diligently at this!

Well, anyhow, that's just my little set of problemo's!

thanks for the advice..and I am working on trying to be with my hubby more often....he works really long days!(he does have days off, but, he is tired a lot of the time...I am too, only because of diabetes!)I DO know my hubby though! (I just have never dealt with such a tough man, before! He is a toughie!(Used to be a Master Sargeant in the Air Force...he has a tough attitude! He also knows the internet, better than I do....he was on the thing way before me, in the 1970's! He is ten years older than I am...and we do have different ways of seeing eye to eye on stuff...he is very protective!

anyhow, that is my story!

nightowl2





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