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[QUOTE=Harmony17;2982486]You summed it up, I think that is what I do. It's like I can't just relax because I have all these thoughts going through my mind, and then I feel like I'm not interesting because I don't have anything to say, and in all honesty, they all are better conversationalists than me. What do you mean by the real you would come exploding out at the end of the day? What was it that you were trying to be? Is this why the relationship didn't work? Hope you won't mind sharing.[/QUOTE]

Oh, just a lot of little things that all built up into a big thing, like the little places where our religious and political beliefs didn't see eye to eye. We were both pretty devoutly Catholic, but he claimed to be moreso than I, and things like birth control, having a ton of kids, which given the state the environment is in today, I think is terribly selfish and irresponsible, but he being from a family of 8 kids, he took it personally, like I was saying his parents were bad, even though they had their family 45 years ago when the world population was less than half what it is today, there was no hole in the ozone layer, and no one knew from global warming, but he still took it personally. And when I got a little riled up about something in the grocery store and he chastised me for raising my voice, telling me to keep it down, he was always shushing me, and some of his friends were really great to me, but some of his friends were incredibly disrespectful to me, and he wouldn't stand up for me, and he'd get mad if I "made trouble" and stood up for myself. I'd try to smile, to get along, to be quiet and sweet and nice, and I tried to see his side of all the political and religious issues, but I would end up getting frustrated and angry and it would explode after a while. But you see, he later married a woman who I was told screamed at him in front of all his friends because he was talking to a couple of women she didn't know, who turned out to be his friend's aunt and cousin and he wasjust saying hi. But he sat there and took it from her whereas he would have jumped donw my throat if I had done the same thing to him. He insisted no artificial birth control of any kind once we were married, but then married a woman with tied tubes, fresh out of divorce court and three kids, with a PO'd psycho ex. So you see, trying to put on your 'best face" and trying to go along to get along, never works. You have to be yourself, because trying to be someone else other than who you are, will only make everyone unhappy. Could it be that you do have things to say, but you're afraid no one will agree with you or everyone will think you make no sense or are silly or stupid? Take an hour and watch CNN tonight. Pick up the paper tomorrow morning and glance over the headlines. I'm willing to bet you will have an opinion on the things you see and read there. That's a good place to start. what about your favorite musical groups, what do you like about them and why? what good movies have you seen lately? Who do like for president in the 2008 election? Voila, right there's at least and hour's worth of conversation. If his friends insist on talking only about co workers you've never met, or people you don't know, or things like that, then they are just being inconsiderate and there's just not a lot you can do about that. I had a friend once who I just hated to go out with when she was with her work buddies because they would only talk about work and do impressions of the manager I didn't know from adam, and talked about work related things I had no idea about. They didn't respond when I tried to gently steer conversation toward something I could relate to, so I ended up sitting there like an idiot not saying anything. I feel that was them being inconsiderate more than anything else having to do with me. that's how I knew our friendship was winding down. she went for months without calling me or returning my calls, so one day I just stopped calling, and guess what, she never called me saying "hey, what's up, why haven't I heard from you, is everything ok?" I opened the door and she gladly walked through.

But bottom line is, you are a smart, bright person with a unique, valuable take on the world and what goes on in it. don't be afraid to contribute. I've been laughed at and ridiculed by people who didn't understand thewords I was using, like "couth". But that's just their insecurity. Like I said, if this guy and his friends aren't going to accept you at your full volume, in all your glory, and appreciate and respect and accept you for who and what you are, then it's best you know now before you waste anymore of your time and heart on him/them.





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