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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Thanks everyone for your input. I just woke up from a nap after not getting enough sleep and I don't know what to think. I just feel so confused. Being 50 years old one would think I would have it right by now but getting ill changed my life and I am very protective of my health as I do not want to relapse. Stress is one of the factors that can make me relapse and I don't want to go back there.

If this is what relationships are all about then maybe I am meant to be alone the rest of my life, I honestly don't know. Half of me loves this guy when things are going well but when we argue, it gets really bad and I just want my space. There are so many positives to this relationship so maybe I have to sit down and really think and weigh the pro's and con's.

I have alot of pressure on me right now as I was renting an apartment that is part of my house and I lost that tenant which is really hurting me financially. I have to come up with alot of money in the next week and need to work hard. My work is not set hours, I choose what hours I want to work and how much I want to put into it.

When I let myself get upset like this, I can't work as well as I normally would.

So the last thing I need is to be insulted, what I do need is some consideration and respect from my bf. I messed up the last time we had a fight and did some things that I regret and we talked it all out and said we were not going to bring it up again, but last night he bought it up again and I'm getting tired of him throwing it back in my face.

Why does he do this? Maybe I am not communicating to him how much anxiety I am feeling? I feel he is just adding to my anxiety right now. Darn, if I didn't have to come up with thousands of dollars right now I would be more relaxed and probably a nicer and calmer person. But I am really stressed out.

Yesterday I took a break from my work because I had to mow my lawn because he can't help me with that due to his permanent injuries. He can't help me with lots of things but that's okay because I was doing these things before I met him. He doesn't offer to pay someone to mow my lawn for me and take care of my property yet he tells me he wants to marry me.

He doesn't have any financial responsibilities like I have. He doesn't own a home and he doesn't owe anyone money, I do.

He receives workers comp. and disability and he has plenty of money in the bank.

He just wrote me and told me he feels that I am pushing him away and why can't I be more forgiving of him? I told him that I need mature words, don't need to be yelled at from another room and to stop throwing up things from the past to me. I told him that only adds to my anxiety.

So now I am waiting to hear from him and what his response will be.

If I'm not making any sense, please forgive me, I am just so stressed out.


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