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Relationship Health Message Board


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I have been with my BF for over 7 months now. He was in a previous live-in relationship for 4 years. They knew each other in high school and started dating in college, so they have a long history together. They broke up at the end of 2005 because they fought a lot and she was an overall negative person always bringing him down. He has a page on the "space website" and I saw her post things like "thanks for lunch sweets" and similar things leading me to believe they were still very much in contact and seeing each other. This was in September 2006, 1 month after I met him, but we weren't seriously dating yet. Anyway about a month into our relationship he said that she was psycho and calling him and she saw that I looked at her web page and got all upset about it and called me names and he said he never wanted to speak to her again, etc. He said if we ignore her she'll go away. The thing is she keeps calling him and he keeps talking to her! He says he feels like he is the only one in her life who can help her (she is a waitress, not very many good friends, etc). He assured me that his heart is with me and he has explained to her that he is happy with me. I know she is calling him because she still has feelings for him, although my BF won't admit it. He knows I don't like it and I told him the best thing is to stop talking to her. He said he has a hard time doing that because once a person reaches a certain point with him he can't just not talk to them and stop caring about them (as in their well being). I can't tell him what to do, but I really feel disrespected. Especially if her phone calls to him are just to pine over him and say how much she still loves him, etc. I told him the more he talks to her the harder it is going to be for her to move on. She dropped off everything he ever gave her a few months back and I thought that would be the end of it, but for some reason she's still calling him! I feel like if she hasn't gone away yet then she's never going to go away on her own and my BF will have to be the one to cut the ties.
So do I just let it go and hope she eventually goes away? I think I should stay out of it, but don't like to be walked all over either.





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