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Relationship Health Message Board


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The problems that my boyfriend and I have been experiencing lately as individuals seem to come from an immaturity when it comes to understanding feelings... At the momeng I am very stressed about uni and work and as a result I can't read my own feelings very well and am very confused.

So my Q is... if under a fair amount of stress... Is it unusual for your feelings for your SO to be less intense? I love my boyfriend very much, I know I do. I did yesterday and the day before... so why last night would I have the ridiculous thought going round in my head that, because I didn't feel that "butterflies in the stomach" feeling that I always do... that somehow this may be because I'm falling out of love? ... And caus im an obsessive personality I can't stop thinking about it. I can't see clearly caus i'm already stressed about other things. Its blurring my vision!

I want it to pass more than anything. This is someone I want to spend my life with. So if this is the way I think, when the stress goes away, will my butterflies come back? Or... if the butterflies have gone... Is this necessarily a bad thing? Or does it just mean I've reached a new more comfortable phase of the relationship? Does butterflies = being in love? :(

P.S. We've been together for 2 years. This is really the first serious relationship for both of us. We're both pretty clueless when it comes to knowing what to stress about and what doesn't matter. I wish I knew better
If you have noticed the stress and the missing butterflies together, the chances are that they are quiet because of you being distracted. Stress will overpower other emotions as the body focuses its resources to meet it. The butterflies you describe will come and go all through your relationship, depending a lot on outside influences.
Don't panic if they go now and again, it will usually be traceable to whatever is going on in your life at the time. Cheers, Sera





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