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I am in the midst of a very confusing time in my life in regards to two relationships that I have. The first is with my boyfriend of 3 years - we share a home together. Our relationship/intimacy has deteriated over the past year - sex not good or frequent enough, both of us working hard and too much, and other issues that we both agree result from the large age difference we have. (he is 10 years younger than me.) A couple of months ago I went on an overseas trip with my boss- it was amazing. We had a great time and learned alot about each other through long conversations and just spending alot of time together. Well, I had had some feelings for him that developed last summer - these became more intense on this trip and I told him so, one evening. He is married, but his wife separated from him over a year ago. She does not live with him and according to him, they haven't had sex even longer than a year (she won't). When I told him how I felt, he said that he liked me alot, loved working with me - but that he considers himself married and also does not want to hurt our pro. relationship. We carried on throughout the trip, continuing to enjoy it. I knew things had changed for me, and my boyfriend could tell upon my return that my feelings had changed for him as well. This is where it gets messy.
My boss and I continued to spend alot of time together at work - with subtle changes occurring - him asking me to sit close next to him to work on projects. Late nights working, and drinking wine. Lots of time spent doing such. He invited me out with friends to a bar one night and we drank quite a bit. At one point in the evening we left together and in the cab he kissed me, and kissed me. We "made-out" all night, with no sex - but close to it, and I woke up next to him. It was weird (huge boundary shift!) but exciting. I was freaked out because I did not come home to my home - and my boyfriend was terribly worried. I told him I was at a friend's house and felt horrible for the lie. My boss came into work that day and as he left he kissed me, again. It felt wrong at work - we talked about it and agreed that it was not appropriate, and that I was in confusion over my present relationship. Long story short- we spend the next few weeks
hanging out, talking, cooking - kissing sometimes and I end up in his bed one more time. Again, no sex. He tells me that he is going to give his wife an ultimatum to decide on their relationwhip - he does not use us as a reason, but says that I am an unexpected factor in "all of this". His wife returns from a trip, and I am instantly "shut-out". He ignores me at a social function with mutual friends (she was not there). and then when I call him we talk until the wee hours of the morning on the phone with him telling me he was afraid in front of their friends, and again how much I mean to him. He gave his wife the ultimatum, she got angry and did not "bite" - but they are still haveing their once a week dinner and talking on phone....weird!! Now I am regretting not having had sex with him - me and my boyfriend have separated- and I am HORNY as HECK for this man! We meet out one more time, and I try to kiss him on the way home - he says no, that he is married - even though his wife does NOT want to move back in and they are not and have not had sex in a year and a half! I get angry and storm off. Obviously this is affecting my work, we meet and agree to just be pro about everything - I happen to love my job, and I am sick of this game. It is still difficult seeing him as I really just want to have sex with him, and I miss our close friendship....but he acts kinda scared of me. I know that I have the power in this - but am confused. Any advice???





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