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good for you, stick to your guns. Really, I strongly suggest you read up on BPD, borderline personality disorder. he has some of the characteristics. I'm pretty sure he will agree with you and tell you you're right, and he's sorry, and it won't be long before he's pulling the same stuff's up to you how long you want to tolerate it. As far as his business, you've done more than anyone else would have, and I'd tell him he's on his own.....don't make phone calls, don't run interference for him, don't pick up the pieces for him.....
this guy is a total control freak and you don't need him.......what does he do for you? really, I'd like to know.....what does he do for you?
you seem to do everything for him, but I don't know what he's offering for this relationship. Just playing the victim isn't enough.....
good lord if you look at each of us we all prob have a few signs of BPD! and for most its called PMS. most men are babies in grown bodies anyway. i would take a tantrum every 2 to 3 weeks if he is perfect the rest of the time. and from the things you have said he must be perfect for you during those times anyway. and you for him. anger management is a good thing to look into. but is it really that? sounds just like a male pms kinda thing. maybe try meds or something like st johns wart to take the edge off. doubt he needs strong stuff but herbal may be good. like someone else said just put your foot down and tell him how it is gonna be. and if he doesn't like it he can lv. you've been down the bad relationship road before since you stated you are divorced. so you know what you can and can not put up with. communicate that to your bf.

as for you helping him with his biz...thats what people do in relationships..they help each other. especially if its going to be a long term relationship. since you guys are trying for a baby it sounds long term. yeah he should thank you. and he should learn to take on stuff for himself. but since he doesn't know how..wouldn't you rather do it for him then let him fail..and be unemployed? you're doing a good thing by helping his biz grow. maybe one day you can reap the rewards for all your work....where would men be without us right! :rolleyes:
Good Lord....where did you say you were trying for a baby or did I miss something? As far as others....until you read up on BPD and understand it, making comments about how everyone has symptoms and comparing it to PMS will do everyone more harm than good.
This will not change except to get worse. Please don't get in any deeper. Yes that's what people do, they help each other, etc, but this relationship walking a thin on on being abusive.....
You have already given more than you're getting.....I've felt the same way you have at times, and you know what? I have male friends, and they've helped me lift heavy stuff....and if I need something fixed I can hire a handyman.....that's not enough reason to stay with someone who treats you like this
[QUOTE=rosequartz;3030537]borderline personality disorder......did you even look it up???
this is going to keep happening as long as you allow this point you got what you asked for.[/QUOTE]

Yes, last night after i posted this i had a look at the mental health boards and searched a few Borderline personality disorder posts up. It was like I was writing the stories myself! They're all right on the money as far as actions, reactions, etc.. Are all people with BPD exactly the same? I mean... it's unreal how exact the stories are to what I've seen with him. I did know he was/is like the way he is when I let him come back. Someone mentioned I should stop having a pitty party for myself. lol... I didn't cave for pity. I caved for the, "plllllease, i will never do it again", "I've had time to truly think about us and how wrong i was", and a week of full on begging and sweetness. I caved for that. I figured, what the heck.... if he reverts back to being an a*ss I can always kick him out again. But lowwwwwwww and behold, history did a repeat. Yea, 90% of me knew it would happen. But that 10% was hopeful.
After reading about BPD, I'm sure something more is going on than just a bad childhood, or a bad day. He's ill (mentally). But again, that's something I can't do anything about except tell him he needs help or help him get help if he wants it. With moods that change this often though there's no telling what he'll want.
I can't reason with him..... I can't fix him..... I hate not being able to do something that might help. It's just so nuts for someone to ruin everything that comes into their life the way he does. He hurts and fails a lot because of his auctions. From what I've gathered, his whole life, he thinks it was "the other persons fault" and chucks it up to bad luck, not meeting the right people, etc.. How can anyone ever find happiness that way? They are their own poison and don't even realize it.
Tell me...... is there a way to help them "get it" or realize it? Or am I just beating a dead horse if I go down that road?
As for the baby thing. NO THANKS. When I see my future children.... I don't see them being yanked up out of their home by some wacko just trying to get a reaction out of me. This is NOT a person I will have a baby with PERIOD. By the way, we've not had sex this time around. That's one of my rules. I let him know that coming back was on a "trial" basis and sex is out of the question till we've had a long run (at least a couple months) of happiness, peace, balance, and being reasonable together (he didn't make it past 2 days). After all, this was supposed to be like starting over (him coming back that is). I'm not letting someone I'm not fully ok with be inside of me. It was weird enough letting him back in after all that kicking out business.
Can a therapist help with or fix any of this? Not so much the relationship..... But borderline personality disorder?

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