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Relationship Health Message Board


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Wow, that's very immature reaction from her. All this over a jar of sauce, I'd hate to see what she'd be like if it was something actually serious. She definitely needs some medical help. Has she ever done anything like this in the past year? Is there possibly anything going on in her family that could have brought this out? How Old is she?
Yes, the pasta sauce thing was petty. The whole sulky attitude after the fact was very immature. Does she often react this way when you ask her to do something for you? Has she had melt downs like this for any other reason in the past?

I completely understand why you were annoyed. Logically you would think there is some underlying reason for her to act like that, but sometimes there isn't.

If this is a first I urge you to talk to her and see if there is something else going on. It could be that she is uneasy talking about something very sensitive and handled it badly. Or it could have been hormonal. An isolated incident wouldn't have me too worried (uless of course it started happening again over something so petty).

If this is something that happens all the time then I would definately question her stability. Is this the first time she said she "doesn't want to live" during an argument (very manipulative move by the way)? This could be her way of getting what she wants. Pouting like a child and making you feel sorry for her. Personally I wouldn't be able to put up with it either. I expect a certain level of maturity in relationships and it seems you do to. If this is a pattern then I think it would be best for you to find yourself a better match and let her find a man she can pout to.
Let her go. You need a woman more like Mom. Unfortunately I think you will find that somebody with that much control over emotions is going to be quite rare. I don't hesitate to say that MOST women will become emotional/angry when disrespected and criticised. I also think that being told that your unhappiness is 'indecent' would be pretty much a slap in the face. Maybe she did go over the top, but being lectured, blamed and criticised for most of the trip home can do that to a person. Without meaning any offence, I feel that you are so uncomfortable with any display of emotion that it would be a disaster for you and this woman to stay together. PS. It was a huge benefit to men in the past that they could get away with branding their women "unstable" and have them sedated if they were disobedient or inconveniently emotional.
This has been one of the more interesting threads. I don't have terribly strong feelings either way but I think this is a combination of the two of them. The OP reminds me of my brother-rational and very black and white, but by no means an emotional robot. The girlfriend seems sensitive and a bit immature. Sadly I can relate to her over the top behavior, as I may have pulled something like that ten years ago or so-but NOT NOW! I'm 30 btw.

I hope you don't mind OP-I did a search on some of your old posts. I know, sometimes it squicks me out a bit when someone does that to me, but it gives you a good idea of what the OP is like. I see someone who really cares about his GF, but has a very different personality. I know guys who get annoyed at crying. I can see how you would view it as unnecessary, but some People can't really help it. Is this the girl who left her marriage while dating you? It may be that she feels like she gave up alot and went through alot and is afraid that if you are mad and leave, she did all of it for nothing. You also mentioned that you have left girls in the past for kind of petty reasons. I think you are at a crossroads right now. You are frustrated and kind of put off by your girlfriend's irrational behavior and are tired of the recent conflicts in your relationship. You are tempted to end it because it's all a bit much and you don't want to have constant drama.

Is she younger than you? I have a friend who split with his wife because she was 5 years younger and he could not relate to her behavior, at all. I think I feel for both of you. You are frustrated and now you worry that if you break up she will freak out so badly she might do something stupid. She is feeling your irriatation and probably feels like you have been emotionally cold and distant and her freak-outs are to get some sort of SOMETHING out of you-to see if you care. So here it is. I typed all of this and cant even give you a solution!:rolleyes:

I guess you need to ask yourself: is this an isolated incident or have you seen this coming for a while? If the relationship isn't working, then it isn't. If you don't have the feelings for her anymore then you know what to do. Maybe she needs a guy who is more emotional, maybe you need a girl who can tone it down a notch. Do keep us posted. I'm interested to see how things progress.





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