It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

I saw my mother abused by my stepfather(technically) but he was our dad to me in my eyes. I knew my real father but stepdad raised us. I dont remember getting hit too too much(sister more than I) but when I needed it for the most part I got it. He was bad tho because he would jump at the wrong thing and then find out we did something and do nothing. He abused my mother for years and she is still with him. She too saw abuse Mental from her mother and father towards eachother. My grandma too was jeoulous of my grandfather and mothers relationship. SHe loathed it and my mother stopped the cycle by stopping talking to her and her quote is "If she drops dead so be it, I love her but do not have to live that way". Seems harsh I know, how sad but the abuse that that woman did to everyone around her was bad. My father is no better. I can not hear a slap fore I think of my mother 5'2" cowaring in the corner whilst 5'9" stepfather came at her and her screaming his name and saying no stop! And he never stopped. I remember the times where she ran into OUR room looking for sanctuary and he didnt stop. I picture it as tho i was right there right now. My mother whom always ran away with us as children and always wound up going back him then later on went without us.(that was harsh, he browbeat her into thinking he would keep us and she had no rights.). I stopped this nonsense when I moved away for the 2nd time after I left my 1st husband. I moved in with my then boyfriend(now dh) and I never gave them my address and only called them with a phone that was untraceable. they new the vicinity but not the address. I did not want the old mom to come knocking on my door saying oh no he is after me I ran away. I said NO MORE! Now she is still with him and i bite my tounge because he abused my sister more than mentally. SHe did not want to prosecute and I can not force her. But I saw him once in teh last 10 years and I just grit my teeth because I want to see my mom, even though she is screwed up in the head due to her parents. Cant blame her for being a screw up since that is all she knew and didnt have a mom to tell her to say no so she is all screwed up too but in a different way. I love her and would do almost anything for her. But I have to watch out for my kids first and dh. I still panic thinking of those nights taht i was up till 4am listening when I had an exam the next day. I remember why i was such a flirt as a teen and that i didnt respect myself because of how i was raised.

I would have to say that I feel more sorry for you siblings than you. You are trying to stop the cycle as they bury their heads and pretend that all is fine. I cry for them and yet lift you up because you have lasted 60 years and are still trying to do the right thing. It is hard to let your inner child out when you are so hurt and are an adult. When siblings do not want to help you and only want to pretend this didnt happen. I would ask them what if their child came to them saying that their spouse hit them all the time? What would they tell them to do? Woudl they get mad, would they want to have their child file charges? I would hope they say yes....So what is the difference? I am sorry Maybe I am the wrong person to write on this one, but If i had a chance and I could prosecute I would. I would not let anyone tell me I shouldnt jsut because the offender is old. A child molester who is trying to get paroled is visited by the child's abuser at the hearing and that visitor begs the courts for the abuser to stay in jail, since their child will never be the same why should that person have to have a get out of jail free card? So why is your mother different, because she is their mom too? I personally wouldnt care. But then again it didnt happen to them and that is why i feel bad for them because they must have been so exposed to the abuse that they dont think it is anything but normal at this point. How sad for them. and how sad for you.

Again I say I am sorry to the little girl inside you that never had a good childhood growing up and to the adult woman in you that never knew what a mothers love really was. If I were you I would whisper to your mother if you ever had to see her again and tell her "you no longer control me" !

I bet that would make you feel so much better. Painful as welll but surely make you feel better. I wish I could say that to my father.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:54 PM.

© 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!