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I'm sorry if you're getting tired of it(the ones who've read my rants before) but I really need to vent again.

I've talked in the past about how my girlfriend's parents are trying to control her every move. She tells me today that her father thinks it's dis-respectful that I don't pick her up when she comes over. I've been dating her for 6 months and he finally decides to ***** about it now, incredible. She has her license and couldn't wait to get it and her father gave her his old car, but now he doesn't want her taking it because he worries when she comes home. She'd usually take 1 bus to get here and I'd go get her at the bus stop and drive her home afterwards because her parents don't want her taking the bus after dark. But now her father says I should go pick her up AND drive her back because that's what he did when he first started dating his wife and that's what all my girlfriend's cousins are doing and now she's telling me maybe I should listen to him and go pick her up.

I'm getting really fed up with her parents. She told me to try and talk to them more and I figured I would to try and build a relationship so last weekend I tried to forget about all the things they did that irritated me and I talked to both of them for a while and this is how they reply.

I mean, we don't live in the 80's anymore. My girlfriend has a car and she can come here if she wants or she can take a bus which just goes down the main road. My car is pretty old and she lives about 15 minutes away on the main road and if I'd go pick her up, come back, drive her, come back, that's an hour on my car and it won't last till the end of summer. I told her I wouldn't do it and that her father should mind his own business about how she chooses to come over but he always has something to say. Now she's telling me she 'doesn't know what she'll do' because her mother will know she asked me and when she finds out I said no she will say I'm "inconsiderate."

Seriously, I got really irritated with her parents just 2 weeks ago when they said she would not be able to sleep over or go anywhere with me for an overnight even though she will be 18 in 2 months until she leaves their house. I'm at the end of my rope here and I really don't know what to do.

Also, our 6 month anniversary is sunday and she was begging me to take her to a restaurant but not any restaurant, she didn't want a chain restaurant and she wanted table clothes with candles and menus and waiters so I am busting my *** trying to find one, I cancel my camping plans with my friends AND I cancel a bbq with work friends this weekend because she wants to go out. Today she tells me she forgot and that some cousin of her's has his communion and that it was 'important family stuff' and that she wouldnt be able to do anything for our anniversary. I told her to not go and she said it was sad that I said we couldn't do anything for our anniversary because she has family plans but doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of this arguement I mean she tells me to find a restaurant and then drops this bomb on me and when I go to cancel everything she says it's sad.

Honestly, I don't know what the hell to do anymore, please help if you can.
[QUOTE=doomcastirons;3012283]I'm sorry if you're getting tired of it(the ones who've read my rants before) but I really need to vent again.

I've talked in the past about how my girlfriend's parents are trying to control her every move. She tells me today that her father thinks it's dis-respectful that I don't pick her up when she comes over. I've been dating her for 6 months and he finally decides to ***** about it now, incredible. She has her license and couldn't wait to get it and her father gave her his old car, but now he doesn't want her taking it because he worries when she comes home. She'd usually take 1 bus to get here and I'd go get her at the bus stop and drive her home afterwards because her parents don't want her taking the bus after dark. But now her father says I should go pick her up AND drive her back because that's what he did when he first started dating his wife and that's what all my girlfriend's cousins are doing and now she's telling me maybe I should listen to him and go pick her up.

I'm getting really fed up with her parents. She told me to try and talk to them more and I figured I would to try and build a relationship so last weekend I tried to forget about all the things they did that irritated me and I talked to both of them for a while and this is how they reply.

I mean, we don't live in the 80's anymore. My girlfriend has a car and she can come here if she wants or she can take a bus which just goes down the main road. My car is pretty old and she lives about 15 minutes away on the main road and if I'd go pick her up, come back, drive her, come back, that's an hour on my car and it won't last till the end of summer. [B]I told her I wouldn't do it and that her father should mind his own business about how she chooses to come over but he always has something to say.[/B] Now she's telling me she 'doesn't know what she'll do' because her mother will know she asked me and when she finds out I said no she will say I'm "inconsiderate."

Seriously, I got really irritated with her parents just 2 weeks ago when they said she would not be able to sleep over or go anywhere with me for an overnight even though she will be 18 in 2 months until she leaves their house. I'm at the end of my rope here and I really don't know what to do.

Also, our 6 month anniversary is sunday and she was begging me to take her to a restaurant but not any restaurant, she didn't want a chain restaurant and she wanted table clothes with candles and menus and waiters so I am busting my *** trying to find one, I cancel my camping plans with my friends AND I cancel a bbq with work friends this weekend because she wants to go out. Today she tells me she forgot and that some cousin of her's has his communion and that it was 'important family stuff' and that she wouldnt be able to do anything for our anniversary. I told her to not go and she said it was sad that I said we couldn't do anything for our anniversary because she has family plans but doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of this arguement I mean she tells me to find a restaurant and then drops this bomb on me and when I go to cancel everything she says it's sad.

Honestly, I don't know what the hell to do anymore, please help if you can.[/QUOTE]

Her father is minding his own business. His most important business on the planet right now is his little girl, her safety, who's influencing her, who's taking care of her when she's not with him. If you love this girl as much as you say you do, I'm having a hard time believing you're okay with her sitting at a bus stop to come visit you. No, this isn't the '80s anymore. Crime is much, much higher today, and the crime has become much more violent, too.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but it's almost like you're expecting and wanting her to be some kind of rebel and go against her parents. And I don't think, based on what you've written, her parents are being unreasonable at all. Obviously she doesn't, either, if she's bringing up words like "inconsiderate" and basically saying her cousins' boyfriends are doing things for them that you're not.

I think you're going to be feeling like you're banging your head against a wall if you keep on with these expectations. You're dating a girl who still lives at home with her parents. There will be rules for her. Period. No fighting, no rebellion. Period. I think you need to respect that or move on and find someone more independent.

And, goodness, pick up the girl at her house for crying out loud! What is she, some kind of booty call?
It's not because it's far at all and I don't really care about the high gas prices, it's just that she's been coming over here her own way for the past 6 months and there hasn't been a peep about me picking her up. I know it's because she just got her license and her father worries that his piece of **** car she uses might stall on the way back at night(it already has) so I understand that and I'd rather drive her home. Regardless of how she gets here, I ALWAYS drive her home.

As for the bus stop being dangerous, it isn't. This is the safest neighbourhood you've ever seen, it's full of old people and young couples with young children so nothing could happen to her taking a bus at noon on a saturday. Hell, she goes downtown to school everyday, takes the bus and the subway and the train, now THAT'S dangerous.

I want to respect her parents, I really do, but I just think that they should understand that we have our own way of seeing things and that we don't have to think like them because that would just make them selfish and conceited. Basically they'd be saying "It's my way or the highway." My girlfriend enjoys coming here by bus, she likes the walk when it's nice and I'd go and pick her up if it rained or the weather was crap, but apart from that she doesn't mind it at all so I don't see why it should change. Sure, her parents think it's traditional but not everyone will think like them and I think they should understand that. I don't like the fact that they want us to do something just because they did it.

She told me to just pick her up once in a blue moon to shut her parents up which I'll do and I understand about the sleeping over thing because she's still young but I think that if her parents start viewing her as an adult when she reaches 18, then maybe they'll start giving her more leash. She just got her first job so she'll be buying things with her own money now rather than having her parents pay for everything so that might be a sign of responsibility for them.

Anyways, I think we pretty much figured it out. We both agreed that getting angry at each other over something that's out of our hands is stupid because we don't despise each other at all.





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